A year passed with a constant struggle between Emma’s state of mind and David’s obsession with his religious master. There were days that moved by beautifully and there were days that were a complete nightmare. Emma wanted to remove her veil, she started to rebel over all the religious things that David forced upon her on, there came a point where she didn’t want to pray anymore and their fights would arouse from that. She was in and out of states of minds at times she loved her life with David and the kids, at other times she wanted to do nothing but walk out of the house in a pair of jeans and a top, go dancing and just be wild. Sandra and Rosie would come back for visits which caused more up roar in the family, Emma would long to do what they would be doing and David was constantly fighting a battle in his diplomatic ways with his sisters asking them not to speak of the life they lead to Emma. The strangest thing that David discovered in time was that Emma was wildly affected by the books she read, the movies she watched or the presence of his sisters. He didn’t want to isolate her from all those things that she loved so much, yet he had a family to think of and kids that loved having their mom around. He let her be yet forced her to at least maintain her prayers and the few mantras that his religious Master had given him to do.
One fateful day, as David was entering his house he hears Emma giggling in between her soft words to someone, he stands still and walks closer to his bedroom and finds her on the phone. She looks up from her daze of giggles and finds David staring at her in utter shock, she immediately shuts the phone and throws it on the bed. He walks towards her holding in all his anger as best he could as he said “ who….were…you….on….the…phone….with?” his eyes glaring at her, the look of death on his face. “It was my mom” she says with a smile on her face as she walks towards to bathroom. He then yells out really loud “Look at me when I am talking to you EMMA……WHO…WERE…YOU…WITH…ON…THE PHONE…NOWWWW?” Emma stops in her tracks, her back towards David and her instinct to run and grab her phone was pulling her to turn around and jump on the bed where the phone lie there still breathing out the truth. David understood what she was about to do as he bend down on top of the bed and grabbed hold of the phone, scrolling down the caller menu to see who she was talking to. The number was an unknown number, not registered under any name. Without a hesitation he pressed the dial key as he held the phone close to his ear in anticipation of who might pick it up.
“Emma…baby…are you ok…you just disappeared and I thought your husband walked in on you.” Said a deep male voice on the other end of the phone. Emma was frozen in time, her face was sweating yet her eyes stayed indifferent to what had just occurred. She was contemplating her next lie, her new found secret was being opened to the world and she needed to protect herself. She didn’t want to loose her husband again or the children, she just wanted to feel free, she wanted both worlds and was in a horrible place in her mind.
David slammed the phone shut, his calm vengeful look crept upon his face and the coldest voice came into his words “ Who the Hell is the person you were talking to Emma? Who is this guy on the other line?” she just stared at him. “Talk now Emma, you better tell me the truth…NOWWWWW” David went from utter calm to a madness deep within him, his eyes were enraged as his blood rushed up to his head. “ That is my mothers cousin David, it is not a big deal…why are you so mad?” she tried to explain with cool and calm to make David feel like there was nothing for him to get mad at.
Calmly David walked towards her saying with each step “so….i am to understand….that your mothers cousin calls you baby?” he stops just as he gets close enough to touch her “hmmmmm….how interesting…..and your mothers cousin has an understanding that the minute your husband walks in the house you will shut the phone on his face?” he then gets even closer towards her as there is only two inches between them. Emma steps back as she answers “uhhh…no…I mean…yes….what is wrong…what I cant talk to my mothers cousin…also this I am not allowed to do?” a defiance in her voice, she was not gonna give in to this, she wanted her family more than anything and she would lie all the way if that was what was needed. David turns around, phone in hand and leaves Emma there standing breathless with anticipation. She takes a deep breath in and starts to head to the bathroom to she all her tears that she had bottled in.
As she walks out of the bathroom five minutes later, she sees David walking towards her in complete madness, the speed of his steps are faster than her reaction to run. He walks straight up to her and slaps her across the face “You are a disgusting woman….lower than low…you deserve to stay in your crazy state of mind for the rest of your life” David was enraged, his wife lied to him “I found out through my own ways who’s number that was…..it was your ex-boyfriends number…you will never change your ways…you lier” He stares at her in disbelief how could this happen to him, after all that he did for her, after all that he wanted to do for her. He compromised his religious beliefs to keep her, he let go of his dream to have an extremely faithful wife to walk down the path of life with him, just to be with her. Who was this woman, what did she want from him? Had he not done his fair share of sacrifices to keep this marriage going on? He stares at her, she has her hand placed on her cheeks without a single tear drop coming down, she has been caught talking to another man on the phone and there was nothing she could say or do to change her new reality. He walks out and Emma rushes after him but it is too late he has stormed out of the house, shutting her out of his life and his thoughts forever.
Late at night he comes back, all beaten up and exhausted, like a man who was a hundred years old. He finds Emma sitting down on the chair and moves to sit on the chair opposite her.
“I will marry another woman” David says with such calm in his voice allowing for his inner venom to come out with hurtful words yet a tone of indifference. Emma sits there staring at him, in confusion as to what may happen next in her life. She feels that she deserves his anger, she feels that she is the core reason behind his wanting to find another wife and leave her behind in a world of turmoil and bitterness. David moves towards the door and walks out calmly not knowing where he will go or what he should do with the sadness that has engulfed him deep within his soul. He was always determined to find his soul mate, his main mission was to find a partner that will walk the long path of life with him in harmony and understanding. What had he done? He was devastated with the choice he made the miscalculation of who he chose to be his wife.
Emma sits facing the empty chair ahead of her, staring at the cushion as it expands itself back into its normal shape allowing for all traces of David to be whipped away. Tears well up as they trickle down her face, her mind can’t stop thinking, her heart is full of hate and love. She whispers to herself in the silence that has engulfed her “Why am i doing this?” she sits back and thinks back of her childhood, her life, how it has unfolded to lead her to a place of complete discomfort with who she is. She sinks deep into the chair and closes her watery eyes allowing the tears that have found their way to her cheeks dry up giving a discomfort to a familiar feeling deep within.
What was so wrong with her that she was not able to maintain a loving relationship and sustain a family life? Emma was trying her best to figure out what was wrong with her, why she did the things she did. She was good for three months and then she would not be able to control the deep desire to rebel against her life, this became her cycle, but this time it went really bad. The turn of events was horrible. In all reality she was only talking to her ex-boyfriend on the phone to remind herself of the days she was free of religion and all it’s pressure, when she was only responsible of herself and no one else. There were no kids, no man and no home to look after. Yes the other things in her life back then were horrible too, she lacked the comforts of a family life, or stability and she was craving both worlds, the one she had chosen today and the one she didn’t have a choice in the past. Her ex boyfriend had gotten in touch with her, hoping she was still single, yet to his dismay she was already married with kids. So he pursued her with phone calls and in time Emma started to look forward to those meaningless phone conversations that took her far away from the restrictions she was under today.
David was already on his way to his parents house, not knowing where else to go. He called up his Religious master to vent out and receive some reasonable advice, to his dismay the Religious master told him to punish his wife by keeping her but marrying another woman to take care of him. He continued to tell him to keep Emma as the baby sitter since she had to care for her children, but to marry another woman to provide him with the spiritual growth he was seeking. David heard all this attentively yet nothing really made sense to him anymore. How could it be so simple to just marry another woman while keeping the one you have as a baby sitter? He still loved Emma and could not bring himself to doing something like that to her. When he shut the phone with his religious master he took the elevator to go up to his parents house, concluding that he needed to seek another wife, a purer one that would elevate him to the greatest heaven. His family were enraged with anger and disappointment at the way David was dealing with this.
The war between David’s family against Emma and David began, it was a double edged sword, they were both wrong on so many levels. David was completely taken by his religious master unable to hear any logic from anyone else. As for Emma she was doing things that endangered her family’s unity cause of the suffocation she was in and the lack of comfort within her own self. There was nothing anyone could do, nothing anyone said made a difference and in time David was starting his search for wife number two.
David took a flight down to meet his Religious Master a week later wanting to be in the sanctuary of the world he craved for. It was by pure luck that David opened his eyes to what was really happening in the religious cult he chose to be so intimate with. He saw all the hypocrisy that took place there, most women were covered from head to toe yet late at night, when they would light up their candles in their homes to take change, they would keep their blinds wide open for all to see them get undressed. He started to pay attention to what was really being said to them all, that working was not essential, that God would send money to you even if you don’t work, just by sitting and praying and doing mantras the doors of money will descend on them. Everything that he never saw before started to show themselves to him on that trip. An awareness came into light and he booked his flight and went back to his home town to really assess the things that were going wrong.
His shock was evident to all, he isolated himself trying to make sense of the life he had been leading for five years with his religious Master. Believing everything he said, doing everything that was told to him just to reach the ultimate goal of being on God’s good side. Enraged with himself for being so blind and enraged with his wife for being so hard to please he decided to put the whole second wife escapade on hold.
Emma was working hard on herself at the time, figuring out how to be a better mother, a better person. She wanted to have a life outside of her four walls to be able to breathe again, she just didn’t know how. On a random conversation with a friend she was offered a job as an assistant in a old people’s home. She took the job in a heartbeat as she felt that this could be a right move towards her sanity coming back. She called David to tell him of her new plans and he agreed to it with open arms. Emma was surprised with the change of attitude, from a man that would have never accepted her to work came another man telling her that he was very happy with her decision.
David and Emma pursued their daily lives the best way they could with one another, each one in their won world trying to re-assess the destruction that took place between them, still knowing that they both loved one another very much. Months passed and slowly they both started to sit with one another more often. David did not force Emma to do any religious stuff giving her all the space she needed as long as she kept the veil on and took care of the kids. Emma avoided phone calls with friends who were living a life she left behind years ago to concentrate on her new life. Every few months Emma would go through a fit and David would calm her down, talking to her, listening to her giving her the affection she needed.
In her fits she would confide to him “I am not good for you, I am not worthy of you in my life David. Your such a good man and I have bought you nothing but pain into your life.” And David would tell her that he agreed that she bought him a lot of pain and he was part to blame for the ability to have ignited all her insecurities with all the religious stuff he forced upon her.
They were starting to talk again and every three months David would wait for Emma’s outburst of insecurities and reasons to leave them all behind. He knew all the pain she faced in her life, and the biggest one was that her parents never wanted her, so why should she want her kids?
They had bought a tv into their home, actually two tv’s into their home. One for their bedroom to watch all the movies they desired to watch together and one in the living room for the days they would allow their kids to watch tv. Emma became the manager of the old people’s home as David became in charge of his own religious beliefs. He still followed religion the way he had always wanted it, but this time around he was using his God given logic and provided the ability for his wife to deal with it the best way she could.
Two years later David and Emma have reached what they were always destined to reach a friendship like no other. They are one with one another, they are both strong people and each one stands up for the other with all they have within them of love.
Emma is an adoring mother to her kids, she became a great cook as it bought her some serenity to see the joy on her husband’s face when she made him good food. She goes to religious classes that her husband tells her are the good ones to go to and she peruses her religion on her own pace with such love and ease.
David has risen to a wonderful state with his spirituality that his family find it a joy to speak to him again and take his opinion. He has left judgment behind and has moved towards great understanding and acceptance of each individuals growth. He works hard to earn his money and keep his family well sustained, not just waiting to see what God will give him through prayers.
Their home is filled with love and joy, their kids have become the center of both their lives, but their universe has become one another.
Sometimes you don’t know what is good for you, sometimes there is a huge struggle to be able to be the person you are meant to be. Sometimes it’s through the journey that you find what you want, other times it’s by going through that journey with that one person that makes you figure out who you are.