January 6, 2011 3 Comments
A laugh came bursting out of him and his stories started to descend upon me one brick at a time. “Oh Rain….really you think by being with him every day he wont cheat on you, trust me he will find a way. He will cheat at work with someone willing to pull down her pants for a few minutes of ecstasy. Yes it takes a few minutes if you really wanna get it” he continues to laugh making me feel like a fool in more ways than one. I protest against his persistence of making me believe that there is no hope in a faithful relationship. “No, that is not true” I argue “It cant be true” but now I am a bit shaken by the thought of it and he continues “If your husband tells you he is late at work, how do you trust he is not screwing his colleague instead of the meeting he told you he has to attend? When he travels on those supposed business trips, spending so much time alone in a hotel room how do you know he is not getting laid on those lonely nights? You are gonna be there at work with him too? Will you travel on all his business trips? What if you cant? Your sick? Your pregnant? Your not in the mood? You have a deadline at work?. Then what? Can you trust that he is faithful? Never…..listen to me, I want you to face up to the reality of life, so that when you end up meeting your soul mate you are not traumatized by these facts that will undoubtedly happen to you.”
As my resistance starts getting weaker I voice out slowly and more to myself than to him “But we will be in love and he will be so sexually satisfied with only having me as a partner.” He naturally had a ready response to my unsaid words “I didn’t say anything about love, I said he will cheat and you have to accept it. I love my wife to death, but I cheat all the time. There are times where I call up one of my friends on my lunch break and we meet up in the hotel next door, have sex and we both go back to work. Its normal, everyone does it, no one talks about it though. No one will admit to you what I am admitting to you know, the truth.” He gets up to stretch and stays standing as he says “Another thing you should know, even if he doesn’t stay late at work or travel for work or goes out for his lunch breaks he can do it in the office. Under the stair case, in the bathroom, in the store room nothing stops men, it’s in their nature and they will always do it. So what are you gonna do now? Get shocked when your older and married to a man believing he doesn’t cheat or accept that he does and just live with it?”
Again I tired to fight his theory by saying “I am older today, I won’t go for someone who has not enjoyed their life to the extreme, I will be with someone who has done it all and is ready for a family and a clean decent life with me, a friend a partner” to my dismay Alex responds with “And then one day you turn fifty and find out he has been having sex the whole time but your already in your fifities too but the only difference is you’re a woman and what used to be perky is now sagging down to your knees and what used to be sexy is revolting and you want to have an affair just to hurt him but there is no one to sleep with cause you have lost all your elasticity and the opportunity to use your young body right.”
This was getting too far. I didn’t want to believe that I would want to adamantly cheat on my spouse, I didn’t want to know how old and disgusting I will look the day I find out how often my partner cheated on me. So I maneuvered the topic around by asking him “so you have only ever cheated on your wife? Right? Or have you cheated on all your girlfriends before?” Alex smiles and says “of course I had cheated on my girlfriends, some of them knew and some of them didn’t, but of course I did and as it so happens I would sometimes cheat on them while I was at work.”
I decided to shut my mouth and just pretend I had gone dumb. Alex had a determination unlike any I had ever known, he wanted to make me see the light, he wanted to wake me up to reality, he wanted to shock me into reality. “I don’t find what I do or done wrong since the whole world does it, actually I am a very nice guy inside and have great respect for women.” That is when a new tale came my way, a bomb of a tale.
“Let me tell you a few stories just to prove to you that I am really a good guy and not the horrible man you seem to think I am. As the thing you need to know, i never make the first move, they always do and i simply comply. So it is not me, it is the women”.
I have a best friend who is married to one of my friends, but she is more my friend than he is. Anyway they have two kids and don’t live here. We have been friends forever and never once did we sleep with one another, although I am sure there was some sort of attraction we never took it there. So one day I find out that her husband is cheating on her and I feel bad for her, I mean she is a mother and loves her husband but she still had no idea. Now somehow she ended up finding out and called me immediately after to tell me and cry over the phone. My wife at the time was out of town and so I invited her to come stay with me for a few days and get away from her husband and kids for a mental break. The plan went through and she actually came to visit and stayed with me for a few days. As you should know we were used to sleeping next to one another in the past but nothing ever happened between us we really were just great friends. So on her visit to me we naturally maintained the coziness of our friendship until one of those nights she was crying so much and completely devastated by her husband’s cheating, to console her we ended up sleeping together.” My mouth dropped at that point, I thought he was trying to show me that he is a good guy after all? What the hell happened there? So I sarcastically say “you cant even maintain a long friendship with a female without sleeping with her at some point in your life? Why the hell would you do something like that? She was still married and for God’s sake so were you. And in your house?????”
Alex had no inhibitions on that strange day, nothing made him stop not even shame of my constant shocked looking state. So he went on to explain what he meant by a good guy “We never did it again after that one time, she felt better after cheating on her husband and with all honesty I felt guilty after that cause as I got out of the shower I found her sitting on my lap top chatting with her kids with such love. I could not do that to her again. So we decided to maintain the friendship as it is.” So that was Alex being decent, God I laughed, I laughed and laughed at that. Was this guy for real?
I then explained to him that I don’t take sex so lightly that it is a special thing to give your body to someone in that way, that if you cant value your body then no one else would. And why should every other guy know exactly how my body looks and reacts to ecstasy? I believe that it is a very private special thing that only belongs to the one you love and choose to spend the rest of your life with, not every passing body is mine to have lustfully allowing for it to be touched by so many people with no regard to the sanctuary of it being my temple to care for and protect.
I looked at the little table that my arm was resting on and found that my pack of cigarettes had finished, surprised I took a look at the ashtray and realized it was filled to the brim, a whole pack worthy of smokes were piled up in a disgusting display of ashes and burned out paper. Since my trauma was so intense I called the office boy to go get me another pack of cigarettes ASAP.
What followed was heartfelt advice from Alex to me “Rain, you need to have sex all the time? Your young, your fit, your free, you should go around and enjoy every minute of it before it gets too late. Your gonna keep waiting for your soul mate to come, who will undoubtedly cheat on you and then you will regret everyday that passed of your youth not exploring sex with all different kinds of men. You will hate your life when the day comes and your too old to do anything about it. Believe me your future husband will cheat on you and you may find out when your sixty or seventy and feel like an idiot for having been faithful to him all those years when he was unfaithful all along.” I look at him shocked and say angrily to him “I would never cheat on my partner are you MAD!!” after knowing that he provoked he resolved to another solution for my lack of sex and my adamant belief that my future spouse would not cheat on me. Alex gave me a new plan “look, I know this amazing beach in Europe, it is a nudes beach. It is divided into section according to your status. There is a section for couples, one for singles and anther for gays and lesbians, I recommend you to go there into the singles area and see what happens around you. Everyone is naked and having sex with everyone at random, there is no shame in it and it expands your sexual horizon, no one will know. I went there with my wife when we were just dating at the time, but we went to the couples beach. At first it was strange to see so many naked people having sex all over the place, switching partners with not a care in the world. Later on we got into the groove of things and it felt like the most normal place to be in. I chose a partner for my wife(I made sure he was the ugliest one around) and she chose one for me, which also seemed to be the lesser attractive of the bunch. It opened our horizons to life and I would recommend it to anyone I know.”
I thought to myself “Did he hear nothing of what I said about my body being a temple???? Was he honestly advising me to go to a nude beach and have sex with a bunch of different men all in the span of a day?” I started to get up to walk away, my heart was aching and I felt sick inside I took a look at him and asked “So you have no problem if your wife is cheating on you too or that she is having sex with a whole bunch of different men in your presence?”
Alex then explained how he would have a problem with it naturally but at least when he was in charge of picking the guy and she was doing it in front of him it was not cheating. None of it made sense to me, yes I knew there were people who enjoyed sex with several people all at one time, and others that enjoyed switching partners, I knew a couple like that years ago, but I never understood it then and I was damned if I could understand it now. Then he explained to me that he was sure his wife was not cheating on him, but even if she was it was ok not a big deal, its human nature.
I thought to myself at that point, and wondered about the possibilities of his wife not really caring what her husband did. IF there came a point in her life while they were dating that they went on a sexual excursion on a beach that was their prerogative and in knowing that i started to wonder if maybe she was cheating on him too since they were both sexually open and experimental. Then i remembered the day i met her for the first time and the sadness i felt within her, and i realized that it was not because she knew anything about her husband or was busy cheating it was because she found out she was pregnant again for the second time a few months after giving birth to their first son and she couldnt handle it.
To be continued………