Shocking truth –1 deceit

I had just gotten out of a nightmare of a relationship…..something that you need intense therapy after with a whole lot of self motivating healing abilities. I was not used to ever living alone so the thought of moving into a new home on my own was intoxicating to the soul. I was staying at a friends home, the comforts was wonderful, safe and secure. Therefore anyone who came into that safety haven was considered safe to approach.

Sitting around the kitchen table with 3 other girls, one was my house host, the other a friend i have known my whole life and the third one being someone i met on my first arrival to this part of the world. The third girl was someone who had just gotten fired from her job and found another in Abu Dhabi. She had no home either to stay in and so naturally my two friends started telling us to live together. My instinct was not comfortable with the whole notion of it, even though third girl seemed real excited about it. The pressure was on, the convincing started, every few days we would meet and discuss our possibilities of our new accommodations. I went and asked around about her, i had a nagging feeling, which i always ignore and never learn not to. Everyone loved her, everyone said they don’t know her well enough but from the little they saw and know, she is a good person to live with. Decent, helpful, kind etc…all the things that never define anyone. My state of mind was horrible at the time, therefore i needed other peoples opinions to be able to take decisions, especially after taking one of the biggest decisions of my life a few weeks earlier (escaping from a relationship with the last hope of sanity left in me).

We found a great apartment, i mean it was beautiful, my dad had someone look for me for a decent place to live in, so while i was at work i got an phone call asking me to leave right this second to check out the apartment. Luckily i went, cause in a blink of an eye, i found myself signing the contract, calling 3rd friend telling her we have a home.

A few weeks into our move, the ceiling of the corridor had collapsed onto the floor and the whole pipe burst, our apartment and new things and items in boxes and my 2 laptops got drowned. We sat in this fiasco for months trying to get our insurance money from the building back and re-buying everything.

3rd Friend was a sweetheart, all attentive, kind and sweet. The thing i never really paid attention to was the fact that she used to bad mouth everyone we knew and all her closest of friends. I paid no attention to the signs, to me, i thought, she would never ever bad mouth me like that and be sweet to my face.

I felt that i was with the perfect person to live with, i mean nothing could have been worse than the previous person i was living with (my ex husband). We did everything together, she was like obsessed with us doing everything together. Walking on the Cornish for exercise, meeting our friends together, having Christmas parties at home, coffees, dinners, movies at home. It was great and easy with effort to please the other. She was great at telling stories and they were amazingly interesting when they were told (least expected was to know that i was lied to the whole time).

We shared all the stories of our boyfriends with one another, who was worth it and who was not. 3rd friend had one specific ex boyfriend whom was someone of a great love for 8 years of her life, someone that there was great passion and love. This person was someone who showed her the world, took her to places and wanted to buy her a home for her to use. I was so in love with the story, yet so sad that they never ended up together for religious purposes. She left him cause he started to spend too much time with his guy friends. She broke up with him cause he was going out without her and he started to act all male prick on her. I heard this story for months, i mean she is a talker, so she would sit there talk away all day as i listened to her tales of love and loss.

In time, we kept getting closer and closer, when her friends from her Dubai would call, she would crunch her nose in disgust not wanting to talk to them, then she would pick up the phone and be the nicest sweetest person on earth. I remember one day a friend of hers was having friend issues and needed to spend her birthday with someone, so 3rd friend offered her to come to Abu Dhabi to spend it with us. I was so happy, i love a full home, yet as the days approached closer for that friend to come, her attitude changed totally. She was dreading her coming, she was hoping she doesnt, and started to make fun of how she just over takes her computer and is too full of herself. I was surprised but i let it go, i mean friends do have issues and we all complain about our friends. The only difference was that most people clear up the air with those friends, not pretend to be their best friends while talking so badly about them.

I ignored all the signs, i knew too much dirt about all her supposed bestfreinds, i did nothing about it cause this was a strange situation to be in and who am i to judge them without seeing all that crap for myself. Although deep down inside i started to not want to see them whenever they came down, cause supposedly they are horrible people.

Going back to her love story with the man she dumped cause he was paying too much attention to his male friends after 8 years. As we sat across the couch discussing it yet again, words flew out of her mouth that i could not even digest.

She continued the same story with more information, and some information which i wish i had never heard. She says to me ” he stopped making me fly business class and started to put me in economy like he does with his kids” ……WHAT….KIDS????????? to this i didnt understand….so i asked…. “what kids? like if he had kids?” and i hear the words come out of her mouth ” no HIS kids”…..what??? all those months and never a mention of them. I think about it, decide to ask another question… “so how long has he been divorced for?”

To my utter shock and disappointment she tells me that he is a married man. OH MY GOD my heart was sinking, deep into my soul. who was i living with? how could i possibly accept to live with an ex mistress???? Why was i never told this, i would have never chosen to live with her.

I confronted her with my shock and disappointment in her as a person, i told her that all her women talk of faithfulness was crap, just another way she manipulates her image to others. I begged to hear her tell me she left him cause he was married, all i got from her was ” no, he became too interested in other things in life” there wasnt an ounce of remorse that he was a married man, and that it lasted a whole EIGHT years.

This went on for days, this battle went on for days. Yet with every encounter about this conversation she still persisted that his wife was the one in the way and she had more rights to him than her. As time went on, her story changed, she worried about her reputation, obviously it was something not many new about, and her imagine of a rich proper girl with morals and values would be smashed, all her efforts to belong to a respectable category of people would go to hell. She played it down, started to say that he was gonna leave his wife anyway. There was no concern that she is the cause to break up a family, regardless what their situation was. With an immense effort to still understand i said “Only other women do this, not a friend of mine, and definitely NOT someone i live with”. There was still no remorse. The funny thing is that i started to doubt myself, doubt my values, feeling that i am outdated, and the norm of the world is for everyone to be cheating on everyone.

I got explanations that made no sense. I could not accept the lie, i could not accept that i as not given the choice to live with someone like that. We said we will ignore it and move away from it, as if i was never told. I tried my best, but her good image was gone, nothing she said or stated of morals and values meant anything any more. I started to pay attention to all the horrible things she would say about her utmost best friends. I payed attention to how when they come over to our house she would be the most loving creator to them, and the second they would go use her bathroom or roam around the house away from ear shot she would bad mouth the most ridiculous things about them. The bad mouthing ventured into the common friends we had, the friend who was hosting me, and the friend i knew forever.

Then one day we decided to travel together for the first time, we were working out all the above mentioned subject to move ahead with our friendship, and ignore the past. As i am sure you can tell, that was one of the hardest things to do since i started to see through the mask 3rd friend was wearing.

We decided to travel to Europe together, a 10 day trip. Me, 3rd friend and housing friend, she had planned to hide it from her adoring friends, as not to have them invite themselves on this trip, shockingly i some how ignored that assuming there has to be some good intentions somewhere in 3rd friend. No one can be that deceitful as a person, my mind would not allow my inner self to believe it.

To be continued………… Shocking truth – 2 Europe trip


About Rana Zaben
I help people feel their best and create a solid second income to enjoy the best things in life.

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