Happily Ever After -Chapter 7


Funny thing about life is that when you are indulged in way too many things, the ability to see people for who they really are becomes an impossibility. The rush and excitement of our soon to be engagement party was upcoming, all out thoughts were on the ring that should be bought, the invitations to be given out, the dress I needed to buy, the tie he wanted to buy incorporating the same color of my dress, my upcoming move to Dubai, his work load, his parents issues. There were so many things to remove us from really looking at the other person to identify if we really matched enough to be getting married.

The day came where i had to move my life to Dubai where things started to look a little more like a bad dream. Upon arrival MJ, Samael and Tamer (to know who tamer is go to the story Shocking Truth) came to pick me up from the airport. I was very happy to see them all, the tow guys with MJ were childhood family friends and were MJ’s best friends. My best friend Yasmin was also on the flight with me so I and she got in MJ’s car and the other boys went in their car. We planned to go meet them all later for drinks in Madinet Jumerah. Once my bags were at my sister’s home and well settled in, MJ could not wait to call Samael to see if they had arrived there so that we could start heading towards them.

The evening went really nicely, we all had so much catching up to do for years of no communication. At our table Tracy (read the Shocking Truth to know who Tracy is) came along, this was the first time I ever met her she was Tamer’s good friend and was out with the boys often enough that she wanted to meet me.

From then on things went smoothly with the preparations for the engagement party. I went down to Abu Dhabi one of the days to meet MJ parents for the first time and they were lovely, I especially liked his mom. I had reservations from his father cause of all what MJ said about him, of his intelligence and high IQ, and didn’t want to seem stupid around him, so I focused more with the mom, who was an extremely pleasant person to talk to. After we left the dinner, he received a phone call from his parents saying that they really liked me. That put a huge smile on MJ’s face and things were turning around for us at that point.

For the following two weekends MJ would drive down to Dubai for us to hang out, his job was located at the outskirts of Abu Dhabi making it a mere 45 minutes to get to my sister’s home. My parents were worried about me getting on the road to drive down to Abu Dhabi and therefore he was driving down to come see me. There were days in the middle of the week where he would leave work and come down to Dubai to see me, an additional bonus was that his brother owned an apartment in Dubai, so MJ always had a place to sleep in. What was happening was that as MJ was coming down every weekend to see me, so was Samael. They would come down together and leave together; we would meet up go to malls, have dinners, go partying together. This became our ritual where all three of us were all the time together there was never a moment that I and MJ were alone to discuss or talk about our events or issues in private. We were still on the phone together most of the time unless Samael was on the other line or in his office or with him for lunch our out for dinner. Samael and MJ worked in the same office and therefore spent every minute of their day together. Samael was a dear friend to me too causes the things that MJ would not discuss with me I was able to talk freely with Samael and we shared similar interests in life.

We left to Cairo for our engagement party that my parents have been putting together for weeks; I was so excited to have all my friends and family meet him for the very first time. I had lost weight from the stress of it all, the dress I bought was just vibrant in color as it was sexy in the way it hung on all the right places.

I arrived two days before him to prepare anything left with my family. On several occasions on the phone he asked me not to pick him up from the airport, telling me there was no need for me to go through the effort. My dad had already fixed it so that our driver would go pick them up and take them to their hotel. I could not understand how I would not go pick him and his family up from the airport! I mean, to me it was the polite thing to do welcoming the guests to my country in person. So I decided to make a surprise to him (I love surprises), I took my car as the driver took my dad’s car and we both drove to the airport to go pick up my Fiancé.

It was a crowded airport, I stood outside with my heart racing throbbing in my throat excited to see them walk out. The most exciting part was to see how happy he would be to see me surprise him at the airport, I was anticipating the grandest welcome from him and his parents. I see them walk out, and enthusiastically I start to wave my arms wanting them to see me. MJ’s father was the first to see me as he poked MJ on the shoulder to avert his attention towards me. With a wide smile across my face as my heart was about to stop from excitement, MJ slowly turns towards me and the smile he had as he was talking to his father fades into a frown. He adjusts his face as a smile starts to re-appear and walks towards me giving me a cold handshake. I say my hellos to his parents welcoming them to Cairo asking them how their trip went and telling them how happy I am that they were here. As we walked out of the airport towards the cars, MJ leans in towards my ear and whispers to me “Why did you come? Didn’t I tell you not to come?” so I turn towards him, my face flushed hoping his parents didn’t hear that as I say “I wanted to pick you up from the airport this is an exciting day for me” he then tries to push me further away from his parents to tell me “ As a punishment for not listening to me I will not get in the car with you. You never listen to what I tell you to do, I want to be with my parents in the car not with you.” I stare at him, not believing that he was gonna punish me for coming to the airport to meet him and his parents. My face starts to burn me, heat starts to rise in my body, all I can do is stare at him controlling my anger, the awful words that I want to spit out at him and walk away from him forever. Instead, I smile and say “Ok, go with your parents. Enjoy the ride.” I walk off towards my car bidding his parents farewell. I hear him tell his parents he is coming with me in the car, the next thing I know he is in the passenger seat next to me looking at me with accusing eyes of disappointment. I didn’t speak the whole ride with him, I just pretended nothing happened and ignored his little tantrum. My parents were waiting for them to take them out for lunch before the big day, so I asked him to call his mom and see if they were up to lunch or dinner. As it so happened, they were too tired and just wanted to go to the hotel room to rest. MJ ended up coming home with me and we sat with my family. His second brother and Samael came the next day for the engagement party, as non of his other friends or brothers could make it.

The day of the party, his parents came to meet mine and formally ask for my hand in marriage, they spoke and spoke as I sat there waiting for it to end. My dad expressed his gratitude in having a man enter our lives that will be able to take good care of his daughter. In return his parents said nothing of any value about me but kept praising the wonders of their own son, in which my dad found offensive but chose to ignore it. The party was amazing and MJ loved my dress, I was lavished with compliments from everyone, but the only one that really mattered was MJ’s opinion, it was him that I wanted to overwhelm no one else.

The following day my dad made plans to take the Johns sight seeing in Cairo to places that my dad had not gone to since he was a young boy. This was a big deal for dad, I was his oldest daughter and he wanted to take great care of the family I will be integrated into when I marry MJ. My mom could not make the Cairo tour as she has low blood pressure and could faint from the heat of walking around the pyramids or Al Hussain. It was a lovely day, his mom was a dream she was so excited about the pyramids and khan el khalili, she had read so much about Cairo and was so happy to be there in person to see all the glories of the place. MJ and his father kept complaining about the dirt and filth around the place with no respect to the fact that we were all going out of our way to show them places we usually don’t go to as residents of the country.

Back in Dubai, I would call his father every once in a while to check up on his health, as I used to do back in montreal when I heard that he was very ill. I had not gotten around to really calling his mom often enough cause she didn’t have a mobile phone, and when I would call the house to say hi to her, his father would pick up the phone and we would chat. At some point my mom came to Dubai to be there to help us with the wedding plans, but me and MJ decided that neither one of the parents would interfere in it cause we didn’t want any clashes to happen from either one, so we decided to get a wedding planner that hardly ever needed us around since we were too busy to ever go. We went hotel hunting in Abu Dhabi to find the perfect hall, we wanted to do it in February, MJ wanted to do it on Valentines day to make it more romantic until we found out that the price of the hall on that day was too over priced so we stuck to the 21st of February instead. At the end we settled with a hotel that was half way between Abu Dhabi and Dubai since our guests were located in both cities, we chose Al Rahal hotel.

Going back to the fact that my mom was in Dubai and had just arrived, MJ’s parents called her to welcome her into town then told her that they would be coming down for the weekend cause they had plans in Dubai. They planned for a nice dinner outing that me and MJ made the reservations for. The dinner was a disaster. I was a person who never really hid anything from anyone, I was open about my smoking both my parents knew and I smoked freely in front of them. MJ on the other hand had other rules for me, he was allowed to smoke in front of his parents yet I was not allowed to. This made no logical sense, my mom told me that I am old enough to do as I wish, and if I am doing in front of my own parents then no one has the right to tell me otherwise, I was not doing something sinful. I decided not to smoke in front of them for MJ sake, yet asking MJ to cut down just for support since these were his rules then he might as well try to accommodate me in it. As the night progressed his father decided to offend all Egyptians with no shame that my mom is there, my sister and her Egyptian husband. He spoke in the a very harsh Arabic dialect that I was still trying to understand what he was trying to say, but everyone else seemed to understand. Half way through the evening, being offended at all levels by his father as he would not stop bad mouthing the Egyptians I lit up my first cigarette without a care in the world. MJ stared at me, bent down to tell me to put it out, I ignored him like he was a fly on the wall. He had been smoking all night long, allowing his father to keep insulting my culture as he helped in incorporating his own ideas.

A few days later, MJ calls to tell me that his parents are very offended from my mom cause she has not called them after the dinner when she knew they were still in Dubai. In return I told him that they said they were busy in town therefore there was no need for her to call, and if anything she is the guest from out of town. We stopped the argument there and decided never to interfere with what the parents chose to do with one another; it was their issues to handle not ours.

Our fights started to get worse after that, MJ would give me excuses that he was unable to come down to Dubai for the weekends. He was tired, he was depressed cause he is still living with his parents, he was stressed at work, he only wanted to sleep etc… there was always an excuse that bought on a huge fight from my end. When he would finally come down it would always be with Samael, the days he wouldn’t come down telling me that he was just gonna sleep in and spend quality time with his parents he would actually be out with Samael. He would tell me that he can’t stand living with his parents and he was never in the mood to see them or stay at home and sit with them, I would fight with him about that, clarifying to him that we moved all the way here for him to be with them. There were times where he would tell me his parents are complaining that he was not spending any time with them cause he was always out with Samael. That would trigger me all over again about how we moved here for him to be with his parents and now he can’t stand being in the same place as they are.

Every day there was a fight, everyday it was about the same topic, him coming down to Dubai for the weekend and Samael being our third wheel. The times he would come down alone he would want to do nothing but sit in his brothers apartment and sleep, he would force me to sleep too not wanting to do anything. I say force because when I would tell him that I am leaving to go do other things he would guilt me into staying, saying that he can only really relax when I am there around him so he can sleep peacefully. Out of guilt I would sit, watch a movie as he snored away, he would wake up to eat something and drop back to sleep again not allowing me to leave and do something better with my weekend. The only times he was not tired to do something or in the mood to eat out or watch a movie was when Samael was with us, and so i started waiting for Samael to come down to Dubai with MJ. I was starting to loose my ability to laugh easily, days would come and go and the arguments would grow and grow. I wanted a honeymoon in Venis Italy as I had dreamt of my whole life, he wanted a huge wedding that would have all the right people in it.  We didn’t have that large of a buget as the expenses of everything accumulated were overwhelming. The engagement ring he bought me was not what my dad had wanted, but I spoke to dad explaining that MJ was getting no help from his parents for the wedding that he was doing it all from his own savings, which my dad appreciated and accepted the ring at the lowest price that he could accept for his daughter. The wedding hall, the wedding planner, the apartment we were going to get, everything was adding up, then all of a sudden we were running tight on everything trying to figure out what to put more money into and what to budget down.

I was never big on weddings, my dream was always a great honey moon cause of my love of travel. He had told me when we were still dating that he hated wedding too, to my surprise that of course didn’t turn out to be the case. Our wedding was costing more than what we were planning for, taking away from the honey moon budget. For the first time in my life, I stopped caring about anything in life anymore, my work became my only breathing space. MJ was getting meaner with time, he spent all his time with Samael. Putting me down became his part time hobby with me. There was a point where I would speak in the Egyptian dialect and he would ask me to stop speaking Arabic if I didn’t know how to speak it with the Palestinian accent, since Egyptian was not a dialect he wants our future kids to ever learn. We fought so much, but the making up was so passionate that it was so hard to walk away. The heat between us was immaculate; we would express our undying love to one another after a huge fight showering one another with utmost emotions.

There were constant complaining coming my way from him living with his parents as there were constant arguing from my end for him to go look at apartments in Abu Dhabi for us to take a look at. My parents were starting to get frustrated at him for not looking for a place for us to live, our wedding date was in two months. Eventually I took the lead asked for my dad’s help to get in touch with his contacts in Abu Dhabi to find us a good apartment to live in. My dad being a very competent person, a man who really gets things done on the spot found us an apartment to look at. We went to look at it, we fell in love with it we wanted it. There were a few legal matters we had to deal with that dad took care of everything and got us the apartment at a lower cost than the asking price. MJ’s main concern was how to get the apartment under his name only without my name in the contract, after an abundance amount of argument on the matter he wrote it under his name telling me that it will not happen any other way. Naturally he refused to ever tell anyone who got the apartment, how hard it was to getting for us when I would start to answer any questions regarding our apartment and how we found it, he would change the topic, or joke around about it. This all made no sense to me, it was months later when i discovered the pattern that i undertood waht was going on.

Insights for your Diary:

 

Simple, if your man tells you he is doing something for a reason which makes you give up what you want, then you find out that the reason he gave you is false. Walk out, you need to know that lies are a base core of that person. Getting what they want is more important to them than you are to them, you are just the perfect dressing for the cake.

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About Rana Zaben
I help people feel their best and create a solid second income to enjoy the best things in life.

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