Happily Ever After -Chapter 12

I came back to promises of change and understanding. And the first few days were great again. Until it all started getting back to its typical rhythm a it worse off that it was before.

The days where things were fine, or as fine as they could be in this situation used, me and MJ would sit in the balcony to talk all about him and his work for hours. There were days where i would have to stop him cause i would want to talk about something relating to us or to me. In those wonderful days he would start talking about other things like his childhood memories with the boys. Those days i would keep my watch, doing everything right, but my true self would creep out, wanting to stand up for myself. I was craving his attention and the only way i could get it was if i allowed him hours on end of self talk and praise. at days i would really need to vent about a work issue to him, those were the days where he would tell me “baby girl, you asked me not to talk about work, and now you will talk about your work which will make me think of my work. do you want that? do you want me to think of my work?” and i would cringe in fear of having to hear all about his work all over again, so i would laugh and change the topic to something of his liking. Surprisingly thought, every time that would happen, Samael would call and MJ would get all excited and go into work talk and solving Samael or any friends work issues. So the frustration inside me was building up with an abundance of anger and hate towards all his friends, they got from him what he would never give me, and they got it so easily too.

His criticism were of the following things:

An important note for you all to know is that he was always so tender with his words, in all that aggression he would break down with words of love and undying need for me in his life. Whenever i would tell him i cant take it any more and i go through a historical fit with which would include me insulting him, yelling, slamming doors, at one point i would start slamming my fists against his chest in utter rage. He would always hold me close and calm me down by taking me out for the dinner i had been begging to have for days, or the coffee i wanted to have outside the house or an outing to dance and release my stress. At some point the only way i was able to every get him to do something with me was when i would break down and start to cry and yell and scream.

–  I see things and imagine things

–  I don’t know how to assess situations correctly cause i don’t think right and i am all about intangible things like energy stuff like that

– What I want in my mind does not exist

–  He would make fun of my brains for watching anything other than his discovery/Arabic cartoons/news channels or hard core action movies.

– Kept saying that my brain is like the women of sex in the city and I want to imamate them cause I have no personality and I think I am living in the movies. To him i was a little girl with not much brains cause all women wanted to live the life of sex in the city, and i was one of them like his ex fiancé (yes he was also engaged before)

–  He would quize me in math, geography and history and make fun of my brains when I don’t answer. Saying how dumb could I be and he is here to teach me how to be a better person with my brain capacity. That all intelligent people knew how to think like him not like me.

1-   I am not allowed to touch him at my own free will unless it was what he wanted, there were always a ton of excuses.

2-   If I choose a channel to watch or program he will leave me to watch it alone knowing how much I am craving time with him. Or turn to his PC3 to play making sure I don’t play if I want to with him. Always wanting us to do everything seperatly

3-   I was only allowed to cuddle in bed if I sleep in the direction he allowed or else he would take his emotions and physical warmth away from me to punish me for not sleeping in his way.

4-   He wanted a tv in the guest bedroom so he can watch tv alone and sleep there if he wants to so I am not around all the time

5-   When I arrange our clothes in the closets together he yelled at me and told me that not even our clothes have to be together and took out his clothes and put them in his study. The study he forced on me to have, after large fights he agreed to have me put a desk in there for me too and my paint utilities and supplies.

6-   Walking into stores to only shop for him once I want to shop he tells me he is bored and leaves me there

7-   We buy a pc3 and play together, his friend comes and play together. Then we play again and he tells me I am too controlling in the game and not fun to play with and he will only play with his friend cause I am useless and horrible to play with, not worth his time and agitation

8-   He begs me to cook and be a good house wife, I end up cooking pasta, he  ignores my organized meal and sexy outfit and takes out a tuna, sits in front of tv and ignores my food and makes fun of it and my inability to do anything. Another crying fit on my end for his inability to be kind.

9-   I was yelled at when I wanted to accompany him to the doctor cause he was really sick, and threatened NOT to enter with him. I wanted to be there for him and make sure he was ok, he wanted me to be a good wife in what he found a good wife to be according to his need at the time. A week later I was at work and he was sick and took Samael with him and told him to go in with him. After giving me a whole lecture about how he hates anyone with him at the doctors (this happened often as everything else)

10-   We go shopping with his friends around he is a bubble of joy and jokes with them not me. If we ever go alone to buy groceries he is pissed and rude and aggressive

11-   Talked non stop about his Ellen sex buddy that he admires and misses and is absolute perfection in comparison to me. I ask why didn’t he end up with her he says “ the heart chooses what the heart chooses” He promised me that he was not talking to her, and every once in a while in our balcony talks he would bring her up asking me if he could call her to fix his taxes. I would refuse even to hear her name. and he would tell me “see baby girl how i always ask you first?” and this was his way of making me say no to everything.

12-   He would tell me to buy a bottle of champagne for a romantic dinner and then at night when I would start drinking it, he would refuse to drink with me calling me an alcoholic and what a turnoff it is…which made no sense since he asked for the champagne. He would give me dirty looks if we were out with friends telling me not to drink as he chugged down all his heart desired. when i would ignore him and do as i wished, he would tell me that i am not the person he thought i was, that i was a party animal and he married me cause he wanted a good house wife. Yet i was not a party animal, i enjoyed to go out, and i had no one but him to go out with.

13-   He threatens to hit our future kids if they every speak in the Egyptian accent since it’s the bottom of the food chain and a disgusting accent

14-   If I don’t get him three kids then he will get a surrogate mother no matter what the situation is since it’s the genetically correct way to have children and he is the 3rd son of the 3rd son. the surrogate mother came up again over and over again, and with each time i would boil up with anger and he would just sit there watch me go into a frenzy and then switch on the tv leaving me to cry alone at the hell i was in.

15-   He refused to save money for my dream honeymoon and put all the money into his dream wedding (which I never wanted to begin with). Every opportunity i had to ask about our pending second honeymoon as promised, he would say he didn’t have money for it. Or that he is too busy at work to think of that now. or that his father needed a car.

16-   To be as modest as i can be in saying this, i had gown up with everything i ever wanted at the tip of my fingers. My dad worked so hard to make us live the life we lived and in doing so, we he was considered a very rich man, we were considered a very rich family.When he came the first time to Montreal and saw my parents apartment, i thought he was a guy that was fine with how much money my family had. Then the day he went to propose for my hand in marriage and went to my House in Cairo, he never mentioned anything about any insecurities he might have had about the type of Huge villa we had. My dad also had a great power in Abu Dhabi and was very known in the area by all powerful people. MJ had no idea about this, not until he came to the Emirates and understood who my dad was. In all this i had no idea that he had an issue with the wealth we had, i thought he was so humble about it and it didn’t matter to him, which made me think of him as a wonderful guy, no insecurities. Little did i know, He wanted to be as wealthy as my dad and would compare his income to dads income, he would call me up to tell me he got a bonus, then tell me “Did your dad ever dream of making the money i am making today at my age?” this type of talk was his new mantra, wanting to be my dad, and then some days depending on his mood, making fun of what my dad has today. some days he would tell me ” Of course your dad can afford to have such a massive villa in cairo, Cairo is cheap any man with a bit of wealth could afford that house. How much did it cost him? 1 million dollars?” then he would look at me with such contempt on his face and continue to say ” Well, that means in 2 years i can have a house like that in Cairo. Its not a big deal what he has, i will have that in my thirties. could he have afforded what i can afford today in my thirties?” He was mad with insecurities about my upbringing, he could not get over what my dad had made of himself. He was in a secret competition with my dad, which came out all on my for unknown reasons.

So one day i decided to put a stop to all his talk about dad, wanting him to back off, and all the yelling i was doing was not working. so i decided to inform him how much our villa cost to just build, without all the interior works that was put into it. That shut him up for life, he was unable to even calculate how to manage doing that before he turns forty.

17-   On my honeymoon he talked, walked and wooed our diving trainer whom he loved her boobs and asked me why mine cant look like hers

18-   Stopped wanting to hold my hand in public cause its not proper for husband and wife to hold hands in this part of the world. Then we see tones of other couples holding hands and he decides its ok but my hands are too hot

19-   He would tell me he is somewhere and I would find out he is somewhere else. One time we even ended up in the same coffee shop, a friend of mine came into town and so i was out having my so desired coffee with her. she finds my husband sitting a few tables down with two of his work friends and asks me to go to him. Of course i refuse knowing that he will pay me back for that later on in the day. I send him a message to tell him i can see him, he reads it and replys later on saying hi baby girl. He then decides it proper to come say hi, walks towards our table stands for a few minutes (like a stranger) and goes back to his table without inviting me to be with him. I then choose to leave the place, and go say by to him and his work friends, he introduces me, and tells me he will meet me at home. I leave wondering what the hell was that? it was like he was a distant person i only met three times, not his wife. I drive down to Dubai that night, never going home, could not stand seeing his face.

20-I was told to leave him and go out alone cause he is not in the mood, and 2 min later he is out with his friends making me believe that the reason I am out alone is cause he was too tired when in reality he was not

21-      I was not allowed to run errands with him cause I was suffocating him.

22- I was not to ever tell him to go down to Dubai with me to see my sister, if i wanted to then i should go alone. He has better things to do than go to Dubai. So one day, as it just so happened he had a work seminar in Dubai. When he came to tell me about it i assumed he was gonna tell me to join him, so i started to plan how to take 2 days off work. This was so exciting for me cause we could at last do what i wanted to do, i wanted to enjoy being with my sister and her husband with the presence of MJ with me. He told me i am not allowed to go with him, he needed his breathing space, and if i were to go too then he was not going. I then told him i would stay at my sisters house, and he could stay in the hotel and we could meet after his seminars. He refused the notion completely and told me i am not to be there with him or think of it. He ended up leaving for those two nights, making sure to call me for hours on end, and tell me how much he misses me and wishes i was there with him on his large bed alone in the hotel room. When he got back, he confessed that everyone else who was there from work came with their families, and what a shame i didn’t go with him. Too late i would think to myself, you got what you wanted, and you wanted to huts me more by making me know how others took their families there, but my own husband didn’t want me there.

23-I was always used to having a full house, inviting my friends over all the time. So one of those good days me and MJ would have out in our balcony, we decided to plan a house warming party. I was so excited for it, we sat for a WEEK planning the food we will get, sending out sms’s to all the friends we were inviting. I would call him from work to remind him to call so and so. For the first time in a long time we were making a joined plan and i could not wait to have a house full of people. A day before the party, MJ calls to ask me what date the party was on, actually what time was everyone coming. I didn’t understand how he forgot with all this planning. so i told him that it was on Thursday at 9 pm. He then said that “Oh i didn’t know we were having a party? i thought we were just talking about it, but not really planning it. I made other plans with a work friend to go for dinner with him at 9 pm” i was confused as hell at that point. wasn’t he the one calling all his friends to come, didn’t we set this up and talked about it for a week? We had one hell of a fight that day, and i told him he is not allowed to see that friend on the day and time we had been planning a house party, knowing how excited i was about it. I made sure that everyone was coming at 9pm regardless if he chose to be there or not. The party was a blast, and later on we were constantly asked when we will have another one. MJ was not so happy with all the compliments coming my way about the party. SO naturally i got ten folds of indifferent attiutide from her for days to come. More cruelty poured down on me, yet still it didn’t stop me from having another party a month later.

About Rana Zaben
I help people feel their best and create a solid second income to enjoy the best things in life.

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