What about the 0.01%?


About two years ago as i sat in my office contemplating life with all its glory, i encountered a man who decided to tell me his insights of marriage and infidelity. He is a good-looking kind of guy, tall, black hair, well-built (not too skinny) had honey colored eyes and a smile that invoked a cute little dimple on the side of his lips. His demeanour was also on the good-looking nature; meaning that he was well spoken, well dressed, and was naturally funny. The best part about this man was that he was married to a beautiful woman whom has two children from and  his wife was pregnant with the third child at the time.

I am the type of person who genuinely enjoys entertaining conversations with others, in knowing this about myself i have come to the understanding that i am a good listener therefore giving others this urge to really want to talk to me about things that they would not venture into with others. So as you hear this story, do not judge me for not putting a stop to it. The best conversations are the ones in which you allow others the freedom to talk, provoking questions and eliciting ideas to get the best out of the conversation.

This young man (i will call him Mike) was sitting in front of me as we sipped on a cup of coffee and puffed away on our cigarettes. The conversation started off on a good note, i was asking about his love story and i was interested to bring hope of love back into my life. Mike adjusted himself on his chair, a flicker of interest glowing in his eyes and retold his loving story to me. Once he was done and i was elated with the love he had for his wife, i made an internal wish that i would one day have a man as good as this one in my life.

A few weeks later his wife left town to go see her family and he had a few friends visiting him from different parts of the world. He called me up and told me that he is meeting up with a few friends somewhere next to where i live and for me to join then. I eagerly said yes to the invitation hoping to meet more people who were so in love with their spouses to keep fueling up my new-found hope in the male gender. To my surprise that was not the case, there were only three other people there a girl and two guys. The girl wore a sexy dress that was buttoned down in the front, the top few top and bottom buttons were unbuttoned giving her a more seductive look to her plain features. Mike introduced to me to them both as i took a seat across the table from him placing myself between the other two people. A few seconds into the conversation as Mike is waving his hands around entertaining us with his jokes, i notice that his wedding ring is not on his finger. Some time later i started to get a strong feeling from the girl on my right, a feeling that made me uncomfortable in any conversations i was pursuing with Mike.

The next day, Mike comes over to my office, again we sit down with our coffee as we puff away at our cigarettes. This time around my question was of a different kind “So who was that girl?” i ask him as i look deeply into his eyes to see where and how the lie will take place. He shuffles in his seat and then stands up as he roughly rubs his hands together, allowing me complete sight of the wedding ring that has returned on to  his finger. I continue to say ” She was very defensive of you, i felt like i was over stepping my bounds by talking to you. That is not a reaction of a friend, its more the reaction of a girlfriend or wife.”  I was devastated inside, i was hoping that he would tell me that she is this crazy woman who was obsessed with him and to pay no attention, that he was madly in love with his wife. I think that even if he did tell me that, i would not have believed him, my feelings were never wrong. He then decides to open up and tell me what her story is. “She is a really good friend of mine, actually we used to be friends with benefits” he then looks me straight in the eyes to see my immediate reaction to what he had just confided in me.

Amazing how a person can crush your hopes with only one sentence, destroying your new found hope in men. As my questions got deeper and my interest grew stronger, Mike felt safe to tell me that their relationship was still moving in that direction but naturally without the knowledge of his wife. Devastated with what i was starting to hear, i reverted my new hope in men into additional reason to hate men. I was told with all conviction that i live in a dream world, that 99.9% of men cheat on thier women, there was no such thing as a faithful man. Mike said he wanted to help me see life for what it really is and in doing so he wanted to tell me exactly how men are like, so that i don’t waste my youth on a man that is bound to cheat on me.

So this is what MAN is like:

1- A man has a great ability to cheat and an inability NOT to cheat.

2- If a man wants to cheat regardless of how much his woman puts in to disable him from cheating on her, a man will still cheat.

a. He can cheat at work with another employee in the bathroom,

b. Under the staircase in the office

c. Go out for his lunch break to a close by hotel and call up a friend or a collegue for a quick lunch break

3- A man has no controle over his hormones he was created to want a variety of women, one is never sufficiant enough

4-The only 0.01% that dont cheat are the guys who have no hope in ever enticing another woman and is thankful to have ONE who can stand him.

5- The 0.01 % that dont cheat are usually the religious guys, therefor they marry several women cause a man cant controle himself.

6-Every man knows how to get a woman to bed with no one finding out, the talent lies in knowing how to cover it really well. In other words, making the wife you have believe she is the only one in his life, that is accomplished by offering so many different methods of gifts and phone calls at the appropriate time.

I am curios to know, from anyone out there, if they truly believe in all these so called “factual insights” about men. Is it true that only 0.01% of men don’t cheat? Is it true that the man has no control over his hormonal needs regardless if he already has someone in their lives or not? Does commitment and love not fall hand in hand with monogamy in a man’s mind?

Can it be true that men are really like this? Is it possible that society has accepted a man cheating on his woman allowing it to be a norm, that now its become a scientific fact that men have Zero control over their desires regardless of who they hurt along the way? Is it not true that women can have the same desires but are known in society to be able to control themselves, therefore today women believe that its a man’s legacy to follow his second head? It is an act to forgive or find reasons to accept?

Is it true?

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About Rana Zaben
I help people feel their best and create a solid second income to enjoy the best things in life.

4 Responses to What about the 0.014?

  1. 2nd Wave Man says:

    I believe that your analysis is true. For the present world.

    Things weren’t always this way, and they won’t be this way forever. Come the revolution, men will have to shape up or ship out.

    It is not an act to forgive or accept. I felt crushed with you as I read your post, and I hope you’ll remain uncompromisingly firm against cheaters.

  2. Leslie says:

    It’s NOT a scientific fact that men cannot control themselves. That’s an old excuse men conjured up to absolve themselves of guilt over cheating. Women’s hormones are JUST as strong as a man’s yet we control ourselves and resist temptation. Is it because we’re programmed by society to be faithful while men are programmed to believe they cannot control themselves? Is it because women are taught to place special importance to the act while men were taught to enjoy it as much as possible with as many as possible? It’s probably both, but I have met LOTS of men who are not only desirable to women, but who can keep it in their pants because they are REAL men. They can control themselves. Mostly, I think it’s a cultural thing and in this day and age, these men are going to learn it’s no longer acceptable behavior.

    My heart broke as I read what your friend said. My heart broke for you and for his beautiful, loving, and dutiful wife.

  3. Dee says:

    I agree with Leslie. There are men out there who are faithful to their wives! And even if a seductive woman tries luring her way into his life, he can firmly put a stop to it. That is what manliness is about. Not this attitude of I am a man, I can do whatever i want, because I cannot control myself! This is such a lame excuse! And very unmanly.
    My heart was aching from this story, just as your was Rain! But never give up hope in men. There are good ones out there! Real men! Not this fabricated, spineless idea of machoisim that you have been encountering for the past few years.

  4. Thank you all for your insights on this matter, it certainly does put things into a bit of perspective,there is hope that good men do exists but maybe as 2nd wave man said there will come a time where things will go back to the way they used to be. Lets hope that will really happen, its about time that good men start to stand out more than the bad ones

    Warmest of wishes to you all

    Rain

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