Decisions


How can we settle within ourselves internally when faced with a past experience that has chosen to crawl it’s way into our life again?

We spend time and effort making decisions in our life according to experiences we had gone through. The desperate need to change what was bad and incorporate what is good. It takes a lot of will power to follow what is truly yours as the knowledge and acceptance of what used to be no longer works for you. As people, we have a tendency to stick to the things that used to make us feel good assuming that they will always make us feel good, paying no attention to the new anguish that has held hands with the assumed joyous habit.

There are things that come and go, people walk into your life to provide a clearer picture of what you can and can’t live with, that is the way the world works. It is through the awareness of what you end up knowing that you are able to provide a new thorough list of your true path. Once this process has taken place in your thought patterns, it becomes an awareness you can’t rid yourself of. When you meet people that remind you of what you have chosen to stay away from, an alarm bell rings inside, giving off warning signs to alert you that you may be treading on grounds you have worked hard to stay away from. Your determination to stay away over powers you as your instincts scream out for you to open your eyes wide and really see your surrounding environment.

Why does life work that way? When do we get a break? Are we allowed to fully flourish in our new resolutions and way of life without what we have specifically chosen not to live with re-enter your world again? Do we blind ourselves again as we did with our previous experiences or is there a new learning to grab on to with the presence of a past long gone?

All these questions float in my mind, a clear start from all the ugliness is where I truly want to be, a different life, one that comforts me deep within, the one I see clear ahead of me. A tap on my shoulder makes me stop as I take a look behind me to see where the tap came from. A memory has come my way with an unexpected urgency to make me remember the things I do not want in my life. I take a look into my once clear future and realize that the haze started to take form, the memory has become my reality and the choices I need to make over power me. The beauty of how my future was starting to form has gotten touched by the unwanted, providing an unsettling feeling deep within, reminding me of what I can and can’t live with.

Once again I am being tested on my resolve, once again i am to re-evaluate how I want my future to look. Should I tread on waters that could drown me again or should I follow the path that I know will lead me to where I need to be? The choice is not an easy one to make, the resolve is hard to come to for I have found a beauty today that provides me with utmost ease and comfort, a feeling of completeness with understanding yet it’s hard to conceive that it’s within this beauty that I have been tapped on my shoulder to take a look back.

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About Rana Zaben
I help people feel their best and create a solid second income to enjoy the best things in life.

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