The age of 31


“I used to see the flaw in every diamond. Now stones astound me with their perfection.” written by nothingprofound Click on Icon “Lovely Aphorisms..”

The best year of my life was when I turned thirty one. That was the year in which I lost most of my ability to care about what others thought of me or who I was supposed to be. Sitting amongst my friends in a coffee shop, I rested my back on the uncomfortable wooden chair as I placed my hands on my thighs and watched my friends scolding one of the residents of the table regarding her approach towards religion. Although the friend that was being scolded lived a pretty good life with pretty normal expectations she was still not being given a chance to do with her life as she wished to do. In addition she was not to pursue her religion the way she felt she wanted to. It seemed that others expectations of her were greater and very different than what her expectations of herself were.

As I sat there watching the constant criticism that was being bestowed upon her by the dearest people in her life, I came to a realization about myself; I lost my ability to care about what anyone really thinks about my way of life. Who was anyone to tell me how I should feel or think? Who gave anyone the right to tell me how I should handle a certain situation while criticizing the way I had already handled it? Knowing very well that I can’t turn back time and mend it the way they would like me to mend it.

As the days started to pass by, and I was become more and more integrated into the new awareness my whole demeanor started to change. I walked into places with less concern about who was looking and what people were thinking of me. My dress code became fully convenient of my mood rather than having it be for the entertainment of receiving the desired complement. My body felt comfortable to me, I started to feel at ease within my own skin. I looked at myself in the mirror differently, I saw a lovely person, filled with charisma and beauty that I had never really seen before. I came to accept who I am and stopped fighting my core self. I was coming to terms with the fact that; who I have always been will always be who I am.  No matter how much I spent trying to change myself to what each person perceived would be better for me, I was still who I was, my inner self was still the way it always was.

The greatest thing that dawned on me at thirty one was that no matter what my family expected of me or my friends assumed I should do, they still had complaints. Nothing ever satisfied anyone, there was always a fault to be mended and once it was mended then there arouse another fault out of the previously mended fault. In constantly wanting to fix myself according to what others expectations of me where, I lost touch with what I really wanted out of my life and my personality.

People are never happy with anything, there is always a criticism coming one way or another. If you do something great, people will find a fault in it, praising themselves in the process as they express how they could have done it better and how you should have done it their way. What dawned on me at the late age of thirty one was that no matter how I chose to do things there will always be someone, somewhere ready to criticize it. If I wore the red dress I was told to wear to the party, there will be people there that will criticize my choice of color voicing that I look better in green and I should have worn green. If I wear the green to the next party then there will be those who will put down the green and say that I should stick to blues.

There is no pleasing everyone, there is no pleasing anyone, there is only pleasing yourself and caring only for what you think is best for you. Whatever pace you want to pursue your religion in, is yours to judge. Whatever you want to make of your life, it is yours to make. Whomever you want to talk to is yours to decide upon. However you want to act is upon your own judgment of yourself. Most importantly; whatever your vales are, will always be your values to keep and abide by.

People will always criticize people, even if the person is an angel sent from the heavens above with no flaws; a flaw will be found. So love who you have become, accept yourself with all your faults and all your greatness, for there is no one worthy of pleasing but yourself.


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About Rana Zaben
I help people feel their best and create a solid second income to enjoy the best things in life.

3 Responses to The age of 31

  1. Dena Pasha says:

    i really loved it ya Rana, it is soooooo true. i am trying to do that also but it is a bit hard, i hope i can come to this point.. i love your writings so much, keep it up xoxox

    • Hi Dena,
      Thank you Dina 🙂 It is very hard to do, it’s a frame of mind that just clicks. You come to realize that everyone else is too busy looking at themselves more aware of that then you as an individual, each person is rubbing thier own ego, and no one is truly rubbing your’s :)……trust me i had to start all over again aftetr my divorce, so i am basically re-living 31 again lol.

      Thank you again for your support with my writting….i appreciate and its the biggest joy 🙂 xxxx

  2. Rain-you really hit the bulls-eye here. The realization you had at 31 is the most important any person can have. To live your own life as you see fit. It’s nobody’s business except your own what you should do or be.

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