The Ultimate Appreciation needed


“Do you know? A human body can bear only up to 45 Del (unit) of pain. But at the time of giving birth, a woman feels up to 57 Del of Pain. This is similar to 20 bones getting fractured at a time!!!! God couldn’t be everywhere and therefore he made Mothers… THE MOST BEAUTIFUL PERSON ON THIS EARTH… OUR BEST CRITIC …” written by http://www.funzug.com/index.php/paintings/some-paintings-for-my-mom.html

How many times does a man walk into the house after a long days work, plops himself on the couch, grabs the remote control and starts flipping through the tv channels so that he can disconnect from his very hard day at work?

How many times does a woman stop caring for her children after working hours are done, plop herself on the couch, grabs the remote control and starts flipping through the TV channels so that she can disconnect from her very hard day at work?

A man’s work starts from 8:00am until 6:00pm (sometimes later depending on the job at hand).

A woman’s work starts from 6:30am until 10:00pm (most times later depending if her child is sick or an infant who needs to be fed constantly in the middle of the night)

A man has weekends where he can take a rest, sleep in if needed, go meet his friends, play a sport or just lounge around the house to give him enough energy to start the week of stressful work.

A woman has no weekends to call her own, she wakes up at the same hour to take care of the kids, she has more work on the weekend since the children will all be at home all day. She thinks of things to entertain them with, activities to occupy their time, she feeds them, cleans them, plays with them,  and then tried to keep the husband entertained on his very special weekend.

The most devastating part in all this is the lack of appreciation that is given to women who decided with their partners to become parents. Their job is looked down upon as if it is not as worthy as a job taken outside of the home. She works from the minute she opens her eyes until she goes to sleep, most times there is no sleep to look forward to if her child is ill or teething or still feeding.  Her days are filled with trying her new adapted psychology methods to bring up the best human she can. She spends her days running around providing for the entire household a comfortable, easy, clean environment while still trying to find time to take a shower, make a phone call, eat her lunch and even use the bathroom. 

A man assumes that when his wife has a maid that her life is simple and easy, well I think women then should assume the same if their husbands have a secretary or a whole staff working under him.

I am a working woman, and I don’t have children but I do have friends and family members who have chosen there career path to be motherhood.  I am at work from 8:30am and by 5:00pm I am exhausted and drained, but I know that I can go home, spend time silently in front of the tv with no one to take care of. I can go see my friends, watch a movie, take a long bath and go to the salon to pamper myself whenever I want to. If I have a business dinner to go to, then I get dressed, and look forward to a night filled with laughter and jokes to ease the work environment. I do get stressed at work a lot, I do have things that get on my nerves and people I want to kill, I have an abundance of deadlines to meet and a bunch of politics to deal with but at the end of the day I have my weekends and I have my weekday night times to do with as I wish. At the end of every month I get paid for all my efforts at work.

In the case of mothers, they don’t have any of the luxuries that I have or the man has. Their selfless attitudes make them happy knowing that their children are well and loved, they get no money for their efforts, they get no appraisals from their husbands for the great job they are doing, they only get tears from their children, irritation from their husbands and bad mouthing from their help. To top it off, a husband will still complain about her inability to go out at night when he wants to; he finds it irrational that she may be exhausted cause she has not slept for a week more than five hours. He gets a tantrum when he can’t find his shirts or socks blaming her for not caring for those things since she has nothing better to do cause she just sits at home all day while he works to provide them financially. He starts to look at other women when his wife is at her worst. After carrying his child for nine months then being unable to sleep for three months after that, she starts to look exhausted, her inability to dress the way she used to starts to turn him off, and he starts to nag her to provide him with a smile that she is unable to provide because of her exhaustion. Her breasts are sore, her body is huge, her private area hurts, her eyes have dark circles underneath them, her baby doesn’t sleep and her husband still expects to have her sexually.

For all the women who also work and take care of their children and husbands I give you the greatest appraisal for your superwoman like tendencies. Also to the women who have more than one children yet still maintain their jobs and their homes I praise your courage even more.

So to every man out there, take a good look at the woman you have chosen to marry and have chosen to start a family with, she is a miracle worker and you must know that if you were in her shoes you would have never been able to do what she does. Forget about the stresses of work for they are nothing in comparison to the stresses of making a good human being. Let go of the remote control and spend time helping around the house, the decision of making a family is not the woman’s to carry alone. Take over the children for a few days in the evenings, give your wife the time to shower the way she used to, go see her friends the way she used to, sit and read her book or watch a movie the way she used to. Give her a few hours on the weekend to look forward to by taking charge of the house and the children.  Wake up at night to take care of a crying baby, or a sick child and give her those extra hours to sleep to be able to maintain an anger free day. Request things from the help instead of requesting from her to request it from the help, give her those few minutes to follow her own commands.

If all this is hard for you to do, then simply give her the time and space to do as she wishes with her time, give her the freedom to say no to the ongoing outings you want to go to. Tell her how much you appreciate her great efforts in taking care of your kids while you’re out at work. Show her gratitude for not quitting on you since her job is a thousand times more time and self consuming than yours is. Provide her with the money she would have earned if she were working for a company the way you are, but instead she has chosen to take care of the family you both decided to have.  Provide her sexually the way she wants it to be not the way you are expecting it to be. Cuddle her when she needs it, give her space when she asks for it. Be present as a positive aspect in her life, not the negative aspect she dreads seeing every evening knowing that you will be coming back home with a whole list of demands as you sit with your feet up flipping through the TV channel.

To all you amazing women, I send you my grandest of applause for the amazing jobs you are doing and the decision in becoming a mother and a wife.

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About Rana Zaben
I help people feel their best and create a solid second income to enjoy the best things in life.

6 Responses to The Ultimate Appreciation needed

  1. Dena Pasha says:

    100% true, and it’s not even that u don’t get praised it’s also that he tells u what do u really do the maid does everything 😦

    • Well Dina, you can resort to the same comeback using the secretary or his coleague at work as an excuse. It is simple, you have a maid to help you, he has a whole office to help him. He speaks to adults all day and can make them do his work if he wants, you have one or two people who work for you (and still you find no time for yourself) and you speak baby language all day no adults to converse with 🙂
      Give him a week to do your work, lets see how he feels after that lol lol lol lol
      Lots of love
      xoxoxoxoxxoooo

  2. noor maraqa says:

    amazing article …very well said :)))mawaaaa rana you are officially my hero after this piece..hehe keep these blogs coming

  3. noor maraqa says:

    amazing article ..very well said :)))

  4. Great article, Rain! I’m not embarrassed to say my mother was the most important person in my life. Nothing is more obscene in our culture than the disregard and lack of appreciation shown towards women in general and mothers in particular. As if there’s any more important job in the world than raising and caring for children.

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