The Nudge of the Heart


When do we know when to take the next step forward?

A statement I hear on various occasions is “Follow you heart”. As people casually throw that statement around making it easier for the problem at hand to get resolved they have no true awareness of the magnitude of their words on the confused party. Following what your heart is saying is easier said than done, yet not following your heart is a harder path to maintain. When you maintain a path that your heart is not feeling content in, a constant persistent nudge keeps pestering your thoughts and actions until you face up to what changes you need to start making. The problem here is that the heart and mind are always in battle with one another; there is the mind putting in all the logical reasons for not making that change then there is the heart aching to follow that illogical instinct.

Its late at night, all the stars are out and the moon is large yet discretely showing itself behind the blackness of the sky. I am walking with my soul sister on a well paved street that permits only pedestrians to stroll on. My heart is elated with happiness enjoying every moment of this reunion that has a way of bringing me back to my core self, the self that keeps loosing track of its path when left to venture in the whims of my mind. We engage in long conversations about life and the beauty of understanding the wisdom behind all what we assume to be bad happenings. Our conversations move easily from one thought to the next, from one problem to a resolve, from one idea to a realization. After a few hours of mind stimulating exchanges we come to the moment where we start to share our confusions about future decisions and soulful fulfillments.

The air is getting colder and the night is starting to release its skimpy dressed women and open shirted men. We dodge the inevitable response to our confusions by commenting on the passerby’s dress codes, making fun of the most outrageous ones as we contemplate the ones who seem to be looking for a sexual partner for the night.  As we continue walking up and down the promenade we resolve to ending the evening as we stop in front of a bench and start to bid farewell to one another. Then it happens, what we were dodging to say the whole evening happens, my soul sister looks at me and tells me “Follow your heart, you know exactly what you need to do, so just do it”.

We hug one another and make plans to meet the next day for another casual outing, making sure to use every minute we have in her short stay in Dubai.

I walk towards my car, ignite the engine, the music blasts and my thoughts start to roll.

“Follow my heart” I said to myself “How do I follow my heart?” I asked myself and with that I found my long awaited answer. The fact that me and my soul sister talked for hours on end, filtering out all our thoughts and poured out all what our true desires were made things easy to understand once I had time to be in silence. I had realized that for the longest time my heart knew exactly what I should and should not be doing, all the right choices were there all the time but I was too logical to follow through what I always knew.

It seems that with every situation I got a voice that told me the truth, what I did was try to mentally understand that instinct and try to rationalize it, and once I did that, the instinct would make no sense and I would discard of it moving along the path of logic. Yet there has never been a time where my instincts had been wrong. I looked back at all the things I stuck to although my heart didn’t want to and realized that no matter how long I would stick to it, at some point my initial instinct would take over. All the time I spent forcing myself to do the things I thought were best for me, turned out to be a waste of my time. My whole life flashed across my thoughts, all the examples of following my heart took control and I realized that my whole entire life was spent logicalizing a situation and then finding out that my heart was right all along.

So many people I dated and I knew from the first few days they were not the ones for me, yet I would logicalize it and make my heart go into silence as I try to make it work. Outings that my heart would tell me not to go to simply cause it knew that I would be wasting my time, I would find all the logical reasons as to why I should go then realize, too late, that my heart was right all along. A  job I have wanted to quit for so long, knowing exactly how it made me feel to wake up every morning to go to, I would logicalize it and stick to it only to actually leave it months later after my system has collapsed with stress. Countries that I should move out of cause it has bought me nothing but misery, I logicalize and stick to it, only to realize years later that it drained the life out of me. I would meet a

new friend, my heart would send out alarm bells to watch out, and I would logicalize it and stick to the friendship only to find out months later that my heart was right all along.

My heart knew everything from the moment I would take a decision, yet I would not listen to it, for fear that it made no sense and was not the right thing to do. My heart was always right.

So in that car, driving back home, I got the courage to follow through with what my heart wanted, I decided to do exactly what I knew all along I should do. I had a smile on my face, I felt free and I knew that it is time to make that change.

I woke up the next morning with hope of a new life style, when my thoughts started to take control and I started to write a logical list as to why I should continue living in the country I am in.

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About Rana Zaben
I help people feel their best and create a solid second income to enjoy the best things in life.

6 Responses to The Nudge of the Heart

  1. Laila says:

    I am confused! What does your heart tell you?? To continue living in the country ur in? U used the world logic in ur last sentence…

    • Hey Lolla,
      My heart tells me to leave, but then the next morning when i woke up, i started to asses my move logically again cause i am still unable to follow my heart blindly without a logical assessment as to what should be better for me, not what i feel is better for me. That is why i ended it with Logic again cause the ability to follow my heart is still a task i am trying to accomplish without the interference of the logic of fears that keep me in a state i am unhappy in.
      Makes sense? 🙂

      Love you
      Rain

  2. Laila says:

    Yes merci! But reading this – makes me ask…whoever said that following your heart is a path that does not require logic? On the contrary – in my opinion, it could very much be a path where the heart and mind go hand in hand….the mind weighs out the pros and cons (as you said) of the different country options you have,….and the heart is what guides you to the one you feel most comfortable with…the one which puts a smile on your face when you think of it, provided that destination has a “go ahead” from the logic….

    Miss u more!

    • What i meant was that follwing your heart does not require so much battle within, once you know your heart needs to leave then you use your logic to figure out where to, but not to use your logic to talk yourself out of what your heart needs. That self talking, making assessments on how this may be better for you than what your heart is telling you is what is exhausting cause then there is always a fear that wont allow for the change. For example, i know i want to live in a place that is green and rains a lot. My heart is unhappy where it is cause i cant find or feel the energy of the earth and therefore stomping my creativity. Then when i logically think about it, i realize, i have rent to pay, i have freedom here unlike i would have in antoher arab country, i have my sister here, i will miss my nephew and niece etc…… That is different than knowing i want to leave, and then just doing the research to leave, there is no battle between what my heart knows what is best for me and the logic of staying in something cause it is materialistically working for me.
      I agree with you fully, the heart and logic go hand in hand when it is time to decide, but the motivator is how the heart feels and then doing all the wrok to make it happen. Like you siad, to find the place that puts a smile on your face when you think of it 🙂

      Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts…..i love how you explained it

      xoxoxo

  3. Rain, I do love reading your posts, so rich in self-scrutiny and feeling. Ironically, logic is often on the side of fear, fear that weighs all the dire possibilities of any heartfelt action. Many of my aphorisms deal with this subject: how, in order to truly live, you have to let yourself go and trust in your own instincts and in life itself.

    • Thanks a lot for your comment, it means a lot to me for you to be reading my site 🙂 and your right, fear and logic go pretty much hand in hand, which is something i am working on changing 🙂
      Keep your aphorisms coming they have been very insightful to me

      Best wishes
      Rain

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