Freak Out List

It is hard to believe that I have come to an age where I cower away from mentioning it. I remember always believing that my age never represented how I felt inside. When I turned 21 the excitement to mention my age was euphoric, no one would believe it cause I still looked like an eighteen year old. At 25 I was proud to give out my age knowing well that I always looked years younger and I needed others to know how old I was, so that I can be treated like a mature woman. I felt elated to enter into the 30’s still looking like a 25 year old. Thirty one was a blessed year as I soured in self growth, confidence and enlightenment. As thirty five came into view the compliment of looking 27 held no meaning, my looks were no more the issue it was what I had accomplished with my life that started to matter. Now that 36 is a few days away and I have acknowledged that I will always look younger than my age, due to genetics, my worries have found another place to reside in.

In reading my previous post “Freak out” I had mentioned wanting to write a list of things I wish to do if I started to incorporate a negative thought in my mind to push me forward into a more positive life.

“If I had a terminal illness, and had only four years to live, how would I be leading my life today?”

–        I would continue my study in NLP and take the Master practitioner course

–        I would start to practice the Reiki I had been certified to do and help others through the healing energy I have in my hands as I would continue my studies and do the masters practitioner course.

–        I would open another branch of my “Art Café” ( that me and my partners have opened together to provide art lesson to children and adults hoping to give them a new way to release all their pent up issues.

–        I would own a small town house somewhere in Europe surrounded by nature and waterfalls to go every few months to paint a few new canvases of self expression. To have my bare feet on the grass that is in my little front yard and spend hours on end releasing my thoughts on a canvas through my paint brush

–        I would finish writing my book of “Happily Ever After” in the full details of what really happened that I was unable to write on my blog, in hopes of helping abused women around the world.

–        I would live in the country where I have all the people I love around me to bask in the warmth of their love.

–        I would travel with a friend or two around the world only to exotic places where I will learn something new with every encounter I come across.

–        I would make every day count and not a single day go by in spending useless time in sadness.

As I looked at my list I felt I can breathe again, for the first time I felt that I have a purpose in this life, a way to help others a way to make a slight difference in people’s lives. There was so much that I had to offer and I was blocked from moving forward after MJ (blog: Happily Ever After) and Tracy’s (Blog: Shocking Truth) painful experience in my life. I am free at last to see how I can move forward.

I am glad to inform you that the first wish has started to come into fruition, I signed up for the NLP Master Practitioner course and I already feel that there might be a hidden benefit towards a better life after writing my list.

How does your list look like? What would you do If you had a terminal illness, and had only four years to live, how would you be leading your life today?”


About Rana Zaben
I help people feel their best and create a solid second income to enjoy the best things in life.

2 Responses to Freak Out List

  1. Rain-a wonderful list. So positive and life-affirming. I’m enchanted by your art cafe-sounds like the sort of place I’d love to hang out. Speaking of waterfalls, there’s a magnificent one just a five minute walk from my house. And, Rain, your last wish, you know what?-I think you’re already doing it.

    • Thanks M
      I hope i do end up following through with all of them. If you ever intend to visit Cairo then you must come to the art cafe it is full of loving energy and freedom.
      Where is it that you live????????? five minutes away from a waterfall, how absolutely lovely, i hope your enjoying all the positive energy that it’s providing you with 🙂

      Warmest of wishes

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