It’s Not What You Are that Holds You Back…..


”It’s not what you are that holds you back. It’s what you think
you’re not.” Denis Waitley

On a daily basis I receive these incredible quotes through a friend of mine over Black Berry Messenger. And every glorious morning as I sip on my first cup of coffee and inhale on my first cigarette I hear the beeping of the phone alerting me that I had just received a new message. Casually I pick up the phone as I place the cup of coffee back onto its coaster and reflect on what my mood and thoughts were like the night before. Then with great anticipation I open up the new morning quote to see what is coming my way, and low and behold it reflects my exact mood and thoughts of the night before. This has been happening for over two months now and each and every morning I am sure that I will be receiving a new insight as to how I need to handle a certain aspect of my life.

I had long believed that I was unable to do a lot of things in my life. Growing up as a spoiled child I never thought I would ever know how or where to take my car if it needed maintenance, or how to open a bank account on my own, or even how to clean my own bedroom. I had everything given to me on a silver platter, without a thought in my mind as to how things ever got done. All I ever had to do was go to my parents and tell them what I wanted and BAMMM it would be done. Drivers would come and take the car so that the next morning I would have it ready to use (another car would be provided to me for my use until my car would come back to me), bank accounts were opened and filled up with money, clothes were miraculously picked up off the floor and arranged in their designated areas without even a thought about it from my end. Food was always available for me to eat, even when I was hungry there was always someone getting me something to eat without me having to even visit the kitchen.

The day finally came where I had to go off to university, actually live on my own and care for a house and monitor bills, I had absolutely no idea what was expected of me. I have to admit that I still had my bank account ready for me to use at my own leisure, the only difference was that I had a limited amount to use. I had to make sure that the checks for the apartment never bounced, that the car my dad purchased for me was taken care of, that the electrical bills to be paid on time and that the house I was gonna live in was to be clean. I was devastated, I wasn’t gonna have my parents around me to pamper me and there were no drivers or housekeepers to do all the magical work I never knew how to do. I complained all the time to my parents until they finally got me someone to clean the apartment twice a week, then I complained again and I got a bit more financial support and my last complaint got my mom to stay with me for a few months, making my life a lot easier.

I didn’t know how to do the basic things required of any human being in this life. I thought I never would know how to do any of those things and I kept telling myself that. Having a house keeper in university seemed like the most natural thing to me, yet I had no appreciation for it cause it was not on a daily basis and so I had to figure out a way to clean the house on my own the rest of the days of the week. I started having to go and do bank papers and things for me and my parents and at first I was horrified, I didn’t know what the bankers were talking about and all I wanted was to have money accessible in my bank. I learnt how to write checks and how to make sure I have money in my bank so the checks wont bounce. I learnt how to fill up the car with gas and make sure the oil is fine. I even learnt how to make a pot of rice to eat when hunger prevailed and I could not leave the house for days due to final exams.

As the years passed and I moved back to live with my parents I realized the changes that took over me. I was more responsible, I understood the meaning of money and how not to splurge. Magical repair was no more magical, I knew the procedures although I didn’t have to do it anymore. It was at that time that I realized I was able to do a lot of things even if I never thought I was ever able to. Challenges became a thing that I tried to peruse at all cost. The fear of doing things I knew I didn’t know how would over take me for a few weeks and then I would think back at who I used to be and who I was today and courage would replace the fear. To my surprise I was able to do a lot of things I thought I never could.

At work I challenged myself to work on all fields outside of my field of work, I studied interior design and yet I was working as an architect, I was going into meetings and talking numbers and purchases. I learnt how to teach children how to paint with freedom and ease. I studied Reiki and healed people with my own hands, I Coached in NLP and helped more people deal with internal issues. I learnt how to live on my own, saving money and calculating my expenses. I learnt to move countries with ease and know all the procedures taken to move your life from one country to the next.

I thought I was incapable of ever doing anything in my life, I believed in magic and no worries and grew up to believe that everything came on a silver platter. I thought I was weak, I thought I was only able to work with what I graduated with, I thought I was not good enough to paint canvases and show people, I thought I would never be able to tackle a meeting with cooperate guru’s present. To my surprise, all the things I thought I was not, were not who I really was. I am a person who can do anything and can become anything as long as I think I can…..then I simply CAN. I thought I was a spoiled little rich girl who could do nothing, when in reality I am everything but that.

”It’s not what you are that holds you back. It’s what you think
you’re not.” Denis Waitley

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About Rana Zaben
I help people feel their best and create a solid second income to enjoy the best things in life.

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