When does it become unacceptable?

Anger boils over inside of me as Jack asked “Well did he hit you?”

“No” Emily says, surprised that he would even ask that question. Was all what she was saying not enough to walk out on her current relationship? My face was starting to hurt from the frown that had over taken my face for the past half hour, listening to Emily re-tell her story with her husband to Jack as tears rolled down her face. I couldn’t understand why Jack was even asking if her husband was hitting her? What relevance did that have to do with the pain Emily has been suffering for years with this man?

I asked him point blank “What relevance does this have? Is it not enough that He is constantly swearing at her, slamming doors all over the house, being completely impolite to any member of her family or any of her friends that enter her house, he doesn’t give her money to be able to support the house hold requirements and her baby girls requirements yet spends a ton on his friends and his entertainment, he is out partying every single night without her, he doesn’t allow her to go to bars or clubs at night without him even though he does constantly, he has caused his little girl to wake up screaming at night fearing that her father would kill her mother, he sits and does nothing in the house except talk on the phone to his buddies laughing or flipping through tv channels as she keeps running around the house fixing things, he uses his kids for his social outings to be accepted in society, he doesn’t allow her to work so she doesn’t attract the attention of the opposite sex” I take a deep breath in, calm myself down and asked calmly “So answer this Jack, what does it matter, to you, if he hits her or not?” Jack looked at me surprised as though I was asking him a question about giving birth and how he felt during it. I repeated my question to him more aggressively and he finally responded saying “Well since he does not hit her, then they can work things out. hitting her would be unacceptable in every way possible.”

Shocked out of my wits I didn’t know how to answer him back, all that rummaged through my mind was the fact that if a woman ever dared do all that to her husband she would be banished by everyone including her family, they would tell her that it is up to her to make this marriage work. Any man who went to complain about the same things would have given the green light for every human being (male or female) to reprimand the woman until she breaks down in humiliation for her actions. Yet when a woman complains about being mistreated on a daily basis the world tends to stand by his side and ask the woman to accept it as long as she is not being physically abused. She is supposed to take in his infidelity, his rudeness, his verbal condemning ways, his absence physically and financially and only be able to make a valid stand if he went out of his way and hit her.

Strange how this type of injustice is not accepted upon animals and yet upon women it is considered bad, yet not unjust. A woman is put in a position today to accept all that is done to her by a man because he has not physically abused her YET. A woman is expected to be the brains in the family, the glue that holds everything together regardless of what her mental state has become because of all the degrading ways she has been treated.  A woman has to turn a blind eye to her husband having affairs hoping that he will one day come to his senses, but when that day never comes she has to confront him and in return the society gives the excuse of him being a “Man” and men need more than one woman. She is then asked yet again to accept it and be a better wife to her husband cause she was probably the reason he went to another woman for sex. If a woman cheats on her husband she is thrown to the gutters, her kids are taken away from her, her marriage is over, her is shunned out from society with not a single word mentioned that it could have possibly been the husbands fault.

What really gets to me is this, after my talk with Emily and Jack, I found Emily agreeing with Jack, seeing his point of view, assessing the situation and wronging herself the whole time. She provoked his anger, she allowed him to neglect her and stop spending money on her and the family, it was her fault she was too busy taking care of the house and her child and her new pregnancy, of course he would go mad and naturally she thanked God that he never hit her “He is a good man that he never hit me. I would have left for sure.”

And in that ended the whole pain she had been suffering for years with her husband. I later on found out that all her girlfriends gave her a similar advice and sad as it was, women accept this upon themselves. Women will tell women to stick around in a horrible relationship, with a cheating man, with a stingy guy, with a man who has temper management issues and tell the woman it is all in her hands to make this work.

When have we ever become the weaker sex? We are able to give birth, take care of a house, go to work, socialize with the world and sleep for a maximum of six hours a night and still have the ability to do everything and more than any man could even dream of. What happened to reprimanding a man for his misconduct and behavior, who said it was ok? Who said that we were born, as women, to live this way? How come every man gets away with murder and women can’t get away with an extra hour of sleep if needed?

Women know how to build fear in other women, making them accept the unacceptable. Telling them horror stories of what life would look like if she did leave her husband “You will not be able to support yourself, you have not worked for years.” Or “What about the kids? They need a father figure” or “Live with it till your kids are old enough then leave”or “ Who will every marry a woman with children? It is too much baggage. So it is best to stay with the man who helped in procreating them.”

What women don’t understand is this “If women stood up and supported one another and did not accept to be treated in such a disturbing disregard to their humanity then men will have no choice but to stop.” As long as the world accommodates such actions and only the visual physical abuse is the allowed reason to leave a man, women will always be where they are today, and they will keep procreating more men that abuse their women, cause women don’t know how to stand up for their human rights.

If every woman keeps accepting this as a way of life, and if women will always advise women to be the abused member of the family then things will never change and women will always be spat on. Her kids will also treat her with disrespect the way their father had, and they will repeat the same pattern onto their wives in the future and every woman will again tell that woman in pain “It is ok, it is all in your hands, you’re the smarter one. Men are like children let him do his thing, and you stay the good wife, he will come around. As long as he didn’t hit you then you can fix it.”

Emilie’s story is one of the many stories I have came across in all these years of watching and listening to couples. With such sadness I have to say that I might have met one in every 30 marriages where there is a balanced relationship between man and woman. What women don’t understand is this: they are telling their daughters that it is ok to be treated this way and they are telling their sons it is ok to treat a woman this way. They think they are making life better for their children when in reality they are allowing the same patterns to continue to evolve and have no regard to how their daughters will be treated in the future or how their sons will treat women.

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Farm or City?

Our life experiences are based on our way of life. What we say and do come back to us in one way or another. If we believe in ourselves then everything we do is right, there is no fear, there is no worry, there is only self confidence in the choices we make. To hear your own voice is all that matters for no one else lives your life or has your wisdom.

Living on a farm or living in a city have a great distinction between them and show a slight resemblance of a congested mind and an intuitive mind. In a city there is noise pollution that scatters your thoughts and allows for nothing other than everyone else’s voice to overpower your own caring voice. In a city you are rushing from one place to the next getting your job done, errands run, obligations met and in all this people are chattering away giving advice where it is not needed, assuming they know best, and therefore diluting your own trust within yourself. Time becomes something you try to find yet discover that it’s meaning has been lost to you. What is expected of you has stopped you from doing what is expected from yourself to you. You glimpse a sight of what you want your life to look like and you feel that you can breath again. Yet a second later  a whirlwind of clatter over powers that desire and it is lost amongst the bustle and noise emanating from those around you who ridicule your thoughts and the sight of your own breath of fresh air.

In the Farm you are free to hear yourself contemplate and understand what is good or bad for you. There are only animals around that say nothing more than offer their love to you for the simple act of feeding them and caring for them. In return you are left to listen to your mind as it ventures into a world of its own where the decisions are based on your own internal voice that you have come to believe in and trust. You move with your instincts towards your fields of green in knowledge of when to water them and when to walk away. You hear the sound of your breathing and the whispers of the butterflies as they pass you by. In an ability to sit and think you realize what your dreams are and grow strong in your beliefs, for there is no one there who can contaminate those desires and the conviction of your thoughts.

I long to be a farm, where I am left to my own accord and rid myself of the fear of change or the fears that have been bestowed upon me by those who love me the most.

Yet another Mysterious Miracle

I was getting dressed ready to go out for a night filled with two different house parties for the event of the Christmas celebrations. As I was getting dressed I decided to change my jewelry and use something more profound and expensive. I removed my daily watch along with my three bracelets and replaced them with a diamond studded watch and crystal studded bracelet that wrapped itself around my wrist. I placed my watch and three bracelets on my dresser, took one last look at myself in the mirror, rushed out the door and hopped into my car to pick up a friend to head off to my first Christmas party event.

The night was lovely the two parties I attended were great and very different from one another, I mingled with people, I saw old friends and the night turned out to be better than expected. Upon my arrival back home I naturally slid off my high heeled shoes off my feet while I stood in the elevator as it ascended towards my floor and got out my keys. I rushed into my bedroom once I got into my apartment as I started to unzip my dress to relieve myself of its constraints. I threw on my long “man shirt” and slid on my boxer shorts, walked cautiously to the bathroom as my cats hovered between my legs and washed my face and brushed my teeth. Once all was done and I was completely in my comfort zone I decided to remove my jewelry and put on my daily jewelry back on. Since I have an inability to do only one thing at a time, I decided to hurry up my procedure by picking up my watch and bracelets off the dresser, hold onto my night bag, carry my day bag on my shoulder, pick up one of my cats off the floor since I was about to trample over her and walk out towards my living room. I place the three bracelet’s and watch on my center table as I release my cat onto the floor, I put the night bag on my large L-shaped sofa and day bag right next to it. As I slowly bend down to place myself on the couch I pick up my watch and clasp it back onto my wrist. The second my body touches the couch I remember that I forgot to get my hand cream out of the bathroom to moisturize my hands and arms before I put my jewelry back on. So I get up and go into my room and into the bathroom, pick up the hand cream and walk back into my living room towards my heavenly couch.

I am so relieved that I finished everything in fifteen minutes and now I can put on my bracelet’s and take all the items out of my night bag and place them safely back into my day bag. Everything is at hands reach, my bags to my right, my cream held in my hand, the remote controls to the tv and decoder on the center table in front of me and my three bracelet’s on the same center table. Wait a minute…..where are my bracelets? Everything is where I put them except for the bracelets!!!! I jump off the couch and lean my face closer to the center table, as if I have turned blind and the bracelets are the only things I have become blinded to. I sweep my hand all over the surface of the table in hopes of finding them and there is nothing. I go down on my knees and start to rub the carpet underneath my center table and couch hoping I would feel them; maybe they were embedded into my fluffy, hairy carpet? Nothing. I lift up my head to look at the carpet from a further distance and find one of my bracelets randomly thrown a few feet away. I rush to it and put it on, now my hope of finding the rest has grown into a fruitful mission. I sweep the carpet all over again with my hands as I crawl all over it on my hands and knees. Nothing.

I walk back and forth from my living room into my bedroom into my bathroom and back again five times, and still the only thing that I have is the one bracelet safely secure on my wrist.

I decide to stop looking and go back to my errands of creaming my arms and removing my belongings from my night bag into my day bag. I tell myself that “If I am meant to have them they will come back to me” and then I switch on my TV and decoder and start to watch a repeat of “Friends” episode. It’s 2:30 in the morning and I collapse on the couch.

The next morning I wake up forgetting about my two other bracelets. I rush off to the bathroom, clean up myself and that is when I remember that I have two bracelets missing somewhere in the house. I take one more look around the house, this time including the kitchen and still find nothing. I decide to go downstairs for a cup of coffee in my favorite coffee place with my lap top in hand to start my daily writings before my day of errands and people socializing starts.

I spend a good two hours in my favorite coffee shop, tying away, searching the net, answering phone calls and sipping on my second cup of coffee. This is usually the best part of my weekend, the morning coffee alone with my lap top or book, enjoying the scenery of passersby as the wind blows itself through my hair.

Two hours later I decide I have to pay the bill, get off my butt and start getting ready for my social endeavors. as I am walking out of the coffee shop towards the hidden entrance into my building, my day bag on my shoulder and my laptop in my arm I hear someone yell out “Excuse me miss, excuse me” I am baffled and assume it’s not for me. I continue to walk and as I enter the secret door the voice gets louder and closer, I turn around and I find a kind looking man, beaming a smile at me, holding out his hands with what looks like a bracelet dangling from it. “Is this yours?” he says to me. I slowly walk towards him as I squint my eyes at what seems to be my bracelet.

I can’t believe it, it is my bracelet. I move my hand towards it as I touch it I look up at him and say “How did you find it?” and he responds to me with that same constant smile “it fell off the table when you got up to leave” I took it out of his hand, stared at it for a few seconds as I speedily retorted to him “I cant believe this!!!! This is so strange, how is it possible? My God thank you so much” I beam a smile back at him filled with gratitude and wonder. Thank him once more as I whisper afterwards “How is this possible” and walk towards my elevator in utter wonder of the possibilities of finding my bracelet anywhere outside of my house!

Bracelet number three is still missing, but I am sure that somehow it will find its back way to me if its meant to continue being mine.

Spit me out

Are we destined to live nothing more than a normal life? Is it a wonder how the mind works its ways around the strangeness of life while dictating the root of life in which we need to take? My mind has come to a standstill as my heart screams out to take the step I need to take. Fear is an illusion that the mind finds itself hanging on to for reasoning. Images of all the wrongs that may take place if I make my move filter into my core with a strong force; stronger than the agony of my screaming heart “get out”.

I have come to understand the energy of the earth, I have come to learn that there are places which eat up at my everlasting confidence while in other places I ignite with the confidence in which I like to call “My lucky self”.  The crumbs of good of one place are the same crumbs of bad that I would avoid in another place. What I may allow upon myself in the piece of earth I reside in at the moment, I would have adamantly refused to co-exist with in another land, another place, in the lands which give me back “My lucky self”.

In previous times I had refused to lay the burden of my ailments on the land in which I built my world on, I persisted that it was all my fault that I should look at all the positives I possess and filter it into my daily life. The tiny specs of positives that I would find would allow me to carry on, expecting that I am doing what is good for me. Upon my travelling into another land the positives that overwhelm me multiply with every step I take making the little positives of the land I live in seem like the negatives I feel them to have always been. Once I start my descend into my temporary home land the efforts of finding the positive start to roll again with agonizing efforts to accept the place I am in.

In time I have come to realize that the earth has an energy for every soul, it knows who to spit out and who to keep, it values its humans to a degree that the human is unable to value themselves in. Negatives start to build themselves into fortresses making it harder and harder for the human to hold onto the crumbs of positivity they have worked so hard to find.

I am free to chose, I have the freedom to live, yet my mind seems adamant on holding on to the fears of an unknown future. I am unable to break free of my fears, they hold more prominence than the few moments of joyous relief I feel internally when I let go of the fear and allow my heart to wonder the earth of large possibilities.

The list has been written, the negatives have over risen, the positives have depleted and now I am left with nothing but my fears of my decision. Ten months going into eleven and I am still chained by my fears to the earth that is trying to spit me out.

To plan or not to plan…that is the question?

Every time I get sucked into believing that my life is all dependants on my own choices, I am struck by an incident that proves me wrong. I sit and stress about things in life, I make up lists of pro’s and con’s. I contemplate all the things that I should and should not do, as my brain runs a thousand miles an hour trying to figure out what the best solution is to the matter at hand. I have developed an anxiety attack caused by all the weight I carry upon myself, thinking and believing that I am the sole controller of my destiny.

 

Should I ask for a salary raise or should I not? The economy is really bad, but what I do is worth a lot more than what I am getting, therefore I should change jobs to find another company that can appreciate my value in the market, but the market is down and hardly anyone is hiring anymore………on and on it goes…….

Should I change my apartment or stay in it? I love my apartment it provides me with the utmost comfort to me, I have a view to die for and the perfect layout. But the maintenance is super bad; I wait for two months for the building to provide someone to help with my leaking ceiling. Well I fixed the ceiling, that problem is solved, still what if something else goes wrong? I gotta wait another two months to get it fixed? The apartments all over the place are going down 30% in their rent, they won’t lower the rent of my apartment, I should check out all the other apartments. All the other apartments don’t have the view I have or the perfect layout out I have. So I guess I won’t leave my apartment….but what about the empower bills that come with this type of apartment, it’s too much…..i guess I will go again and look around at different apartments that are less expensive in their electricity, A/C etc……but I love my apartment……….on and on it goes……

Should I move countries or stay here for a few more years? I love having my sister five minutes away, I can’t live without my niece and nephew….i miss the green trees and how they fall to the ground once autumn comes in to view allowing the streets to be covered with a multitude of colors. I miss the abundance of streets that I can walk on going from one shop to the next then sitting on a coffee shop watching people pass by….but I live in a place where I have access on a daily basis to sit and watch passersby with an abundance of coffee shops and a view of the sea………I miss being able to walk all over the town without needing to use a car….but can I find a job in this bad economy? I will definitely miss my sister and her kids…..but they can come visit me anytime they want… they have schools and it won’t be that often, not as often as I can see them while living just five minutes away……..on an on it goes…..

Should I take continue in this relationship or should I not? He is a lovely guy attentive, kind, loving and sweet….i am not ready to be with anyone I need to figure out if I want to live here, if I want to change jobs, if I want to move apartments. I really like how different he is than what I had met lately….ah, but there is always a down fall with men…..but so far he has been lovely….yeah but I thought the same think about my ex husband……this time I will pay more attention to things and not let anything pass….so pro’s and con’s list comes out…..he likes a type of music I hate….my ex husband liked a type of music I hated and I never paid attention to it before and he would play it really loud if I was trapped with him in a car just to piss me off…..so I guess I gotta keep dating this guy from a distance, he may use his music against me someday….oh that is such a silly thought, he is so nice……but men are all nice till they get the girl to fall for them…ok I will back out now and watch my step….i am not ready to be with anyone at all….oh how sweet he called just to check up if I was feeling better after the meeting I was dreading, he actually paid attention…….oh yeah they all do at first to get you to believe they are attentive when they really aren’t….ok, gonna take this even slower…actually gonna not see him ever again………on and on it goes……

 

Should I travel on eid or should I stay in town? Gonna make sure to travel since I have a governmental vacation coming and I should use it as an opportunity since I have no more free vacations left….crap the vacation comes in the middle of the week and I cant use the weekends to combined them and get a good week off……oh but it’s a vacation and I gotta leave town I love to travel what if I regretted it later on? Ok I can do Athens for those three days……no no no, I think I should go see my family in cairo since I miss them…hmmmm…..no I cant do family this soon I just did that and need to see Europe and smell the clean crisp air and walk down the streets and get my fill of how my heart would love to be doing……I should just stay here and work on my paintings, and all the hobbies I have no time for….no way will I do that….i think I might to Italy with my dad to the detox spa…..i need to change my eating habits and that is a good way to start….but then I need more than three days….oh and work will have a fit about that…..who cares they are not paying enough and I work like a dog…..but I can’t afford leaving so soon….i guess I will just do Athens…actually just spend some days off here….no…I think my health is very important and I will go to Italy to the detox spa…..on and on it goes

In all the scenarios above, I thought that everything was up to me to decide and to take the right action towards. I believed that I was the sole owner of my choice and the burden was huge to carry on my own. Two days ago I was given a reminder of the glory of God and that I am being taken care of and that whatever and however much I plan to do something, the only thing that will really happen is what is gonna happen no matter how much I sit and calculate it in my head. It was in the little daily things that I was shown this, and this made me realize that if I had no control over the little things in my life, how could I possibly have any control over the larger matters in my life?

I wake up on my weekend and get on the phone with a friend; we plan our day minute by minute. We will first go have a brunch at 12pm and at around 2pm we will part to run our separate errands, then at 3:30 we will meet up and go spend a few hours by the beach. My friend comes to my garage as I am getting off the phone with my sister who was having a major issue with her maid. Her husband was not in town and so she needed me there with her, she also needed a male around incase there might be any strange encounters that required a guy around. Luckily my friend was already down in his car and all the days plans never happened, the whole day was spent working out my sisters issue with the maid.

I hear of this great place to go get a massage in, I call all day to take an appointment with them and finally I do. As I head there all excited to get the best massage ever I get a phone call from them telling me that they have an inspection within the hours I am heading there and they need to reschedule. I get so disappointed and start to find days on my calendar that I am free in. I lose hope and tell them I will call them back later when I am not driving the car. As I drive down the parallel street and take a look to my right I notice an art store that supplies the canvases I have been searching for, for the last 3 months. My joy is multiplied by three as I find the closest parking spot and skip out of my car forgetting the earlier ordeal. The same money I was gonna spend in the spa I spent on the canvases I had been searching for.

Me and my friends plan a few days ahead of time to go watch “eat, pray, love” as the excitement builds up and the days get closer to the designated day. Two hours before the movie, one friend sends a message saying her daughter has a fever of 39.2 and it wont go down, so she cant go to the movies. A few minutes later two more friends call to cancel out on the movie, one having her husband have an emergency dinner meeting that she has to go with him too and the other one has got a stomach flew and is spending her evening in the bathroom. The night ended up with only me and another girl who could make the movie. We decided to leave “eat, pray, love” for another day when everyone was able to make it and decided to watch “You again”, a light hearted comedy that would start in less than twenty minutes. We both rushed down to get there on time. We find out that the timings we found on the internet were wrong and the movie still had an hour before it starts. We then decide to change the movie and watch something else, and “eat, pray, love” was screaming at us both. We both look at one another and on the spot decide to watch “You again” and enjoy the mall for an hour. My friend finds a pair of swimming suits that were 50% discounted, we go sit in a coffee shop, as we spend a wonderful hour together, as we made up for lost times. The movie turned out to be the best thing we did, and it was even better that the rest of our friends cancelled out since we both noticed that we had been wanting to spend quality time together for a long, long while and never found the chance to do it.

When those little things happen in life, it gives me the knowledge that I really have no control over things in my life, cause what will happen will always end up happening no matter how much I thoughts and plans I put into it, or how little I put into it. The best thing will always come my way, even if I thought that I planned for my best thing and I am utterly disappointed that what I thought is best for me never happened.

So today…or at least for the next week, I will remember all the things in my life that took place regardless of how much time and energy I spent planning for them. I will remember that I am allowed to think of things, and try and figure out the best strategy for me, but I will always remember that there is no need for me to stress over it, cause it is really all destiny after all.

 

The possibilities

For years i have maneuvered between two types of thought patterns; choice or no choice. Is you life completely destined for you or is everything you do in your life a choice that you have made? In reality there is a strange comfort in both of these possibilities yet the one that sits well within me is the knowledge that my destiny is perfectly planned out for me, that i am taken care of by a higher power than just my own minds power. It has been a rough ride, life has taken a lot of different outlooks than what i had expected it to take, but when i look at my life from an outsider perspective i have realized that no matter how many choices i tried to make and follow through with, there was always something else that was already in the making for me. I have found a comfort in understanding the power of God, the power of the Higher being, the power of something bigger than me.

The hardest part is to constantly blame yourself for the bad choices you have taken in your life, it eats you up inside and then spits you out like rotten meat. There are things in life that come and go, there are situations that happen where you really find yourself led to regardless of the hours, weeks and months you have spent planning something else. In the grander scale of life, when you take a look at it, you realize that you have been led in a horrible direction and years later you realize that the direction you thought you chose was actually the best thing you could have done for yourself. When i was in the phase of life where i was constantly believing that everything was a choice that i had to make, life was a struggle in so many ways. There was a lot of self blame, things were taking forever to fall into place for me, i would sit for weeks and weeks to take a decision about one silly little thing not knowing if that is the right thing to do or not, hoping that i was making the right choice.

This is how i see it today: We are always given more than one choice in life, there is always multiple options for one decision that has to be made. Lets take work for example; you hate your job and you decide to make a change, you want to do something different with your life things have become mundane and boring, all of a sudden a few jobs start to open up themselves for you. You get offers although you are still confused about what type of job will give you that satisfaction you’re looking for. You spend weeks going to interviews searching the web making lists of positives and negatives, all of this starts to take place and the agitation within your mind starts to grow. Your fully inundated by the thought of what to do next and therefore you are unavailable to your daily life that could be leading you in the direction your meant to go in. symptoms start to show on your body and life starts to seem unfocused. Then when the time comes where you have to make that choice, that choice that will change your life course you choose the job that fits most of your criteria and you take that job. If things go really well, then you tap yourself on the back with glee and pride, yet if things go back then you condemn yourself on such a bad choice this is all a 50-50 chance.

Now lets take the same example and put it into the context where you are sure that whatever you choice is destined for you regardless of all the stress you need to put into making that decision. You do the research, you go to your interview, you think of all the possibilities of what it will look like to move to that new job offer. During this time, you KNOW without a doubt that whatever you end up doing you will always be in the right place at the right time doing the right thing that you were meant to do. The pressure on yourself is less, there is no kicking yourself if the place you end up in does not seem anything like what you expected it to, but you are convinced and in gratitude of where your life is, knowing without a doubt that you are being led to what your heart most desires.

 In my observation and learnings in life so far i have noticed that a lot of times whatever it is that i plan for may not go the way i wanted it to, for example if i am sick and don’t can’t go to work on day, i will receive a phone call, an emergency phone call from work making HAVE to go to work. I pop my pills, get dressed in a frenzy, hope in the car and drive down to work. Regardless of what i had chosen to do that day (sit in bed with a warm soup and watch tv) i was meant to be in my office, i was destined to go to work that day, my location was destined, where i was meant to be was not in my bed, but behind my office desk. I was meant to meet these people, i was supposed to spend money on gas, i was destined for another day to be my day off.

Another great example is my marriage to an abusive man. I have been mad for years at God for putting me in that situation, never understanding why He would do this to me i never harmed a soul. One day, i came to a grand realization that this was what would make me who i am today and there is something larger for me to do with my life than  just being a romantic story lover. I have always wanted to empower women, i have always wanted to be of some sort of help to women in bad relationships yet there was no way i would have ever been able to do this if it weren’t for my experience. There was no way i would have opened a blog allowing women to take a deeper look at their lives and to help them take a decision to appreciate who they are. I would have not been able to stand up for myself with men the way i am able to today, i would have just succumbed to a romantic love story never paying attention to what was really taking place behind all the love sonnets that would have showered me. My terrible experience also taught me the power of parent hood and how to make a better generation to come life. So many things have been offered to me within the worst experience of my life, making it one of the best lessons i could have learnt to make a better person of my self and a useful person for a higher purpose.

In conclusion, what i am trying to say is this: there is no need to be upset at what is taking place in your life today, cause the comfort of knowing that your day, your minute and your second is and was supposed to be that way allowing the possibilities of a happier outlook to take place regardless of the situation you are faced with. All bad is good and all good is good, so the end result is always good no matter how we see it at the time, no matter what we make of it in time, it is always been the choice you would have taken cause that is the best thing for you. In other words, your one true choice in life is in HOW you deal with your circumstances, will you be angry and give yourself multiple illnesses or will you be in gratitude knowing that this is the best for you at the time. The choice is really only in your attitude towards the life you have been dealt.