When does it become unacceptable?

Anger boils over inside of me as Jack asked “Well did he hit you?”

“No” Emily says, surprised that he would even ask that question. Was all what she was saying not enough to walk out on her current relationship? My face was starting to hurt from the frown that had over taken my face for the past half hour, listening to Emily re-tell her story with her husband to Jack as tears rolled down her face. I couldn’t understand why Jack was even asking if her husband was hitting her? What relevance did that have to do with the pain Emily has been suffering for years with this man?

I asked him point blank “What relevance does this have? Is it not enough that He is constantly swearing at her, slamming doors all over the house, being completely impolite to any member of her family or any of her friends that enter her house, he doesn’t give her money to be able to support the house hold requirements and her baby girls requirements yet spends a ton on his friends and his entertainment, he is out partying every single night without her, he doesn’t allow her to go to bars or clubs at night without him even though he does constantly, he has caused his little girl to wake up screaming at night fearing that her father would kill her mother, he sits and does nothing in the house except talk on the phone to his buddies laughing or flipping through tv channels as she keeps running around the house fixing things, he uses his kids for his social outings to be accepted in society, he doesn’t allow her to work so she doesn’t attract the attention of the opposite sex” I take a deep breath in, calm myself down and asked calmly “So answer this Jack, what does it matter, to you, if he hits her or not?” Jack looked at me surprised as though I was asking him a question about giving birth and how he felt during it. I repeated my question to him more aggressively and he finally responded saying “Well since he does not hit her, then they can work things out. hitting her would be unacceptable in every way possible.”

Shocked out of my wits I didn’t know how to answer him back, all that rummaged through my mind was the fact that if a woman ever dared do all that to her husband she would be banished by everyone including her family, they would tell her that it is up to her to make this marriage work. Any man who went to complain about the same things would have given the green light for every human being (male or female) to reprimand the woman until she breaks down in humiliation for her actions. Yet when a woman complains about being mistreated on a daily basis the world tends to stand by his side and ask the woman to accept it as long as she is not being physically abused. She is supposed to take in his infidelity, his rudeness, his verbal condemning ways, his absence physically and financially and only be able to make a valid stand if he went out of his way and hit her.

Strange how this type of injustice is not accepted upon animals and yet upon women it is considered bad, yet not unjust. A woman is put in a position today to accept all that is done to her by a man because he has not physically abused her YET. A woman is expected to be the brains in the family, the glue that holds everything together regardless of what her mental state has become because of all the degrading ways she has been treated.  A woman has to turn a blind eye to her husband having affairs hoping that he will one day come to his senses, but when that day never comes she has to confront him and in return the society gives the excuse of him being a “Man” and men need more than one woman. She is then asked yet again to accept it and be a better wife to her husband cause she was probably the reason he went to another woman for sex. If a woman cheats on her husband she is thrown to the gutters, her kids are taken away from her, her marriage is over, her is shunned out from society with not a single word mentioned that it could have possibly been the husbands fault.

What really gets to me is this, after my talk with Emily and Jack, I found Emily agreeing with Jack, seeing his point of view, assessing the situation and wronging herself the whole time. She provoked his anger, she allowed him to neglect her and stop spending money on her and the family, it was her fault she was too busy taking care of the house and her child and her new pregnancy, of course he would go mad and naturally she thanked God that he never hit her “He is a good man that he never hit me. I would have left for sure.”

And in that ended the whole pain she had been suffering for years with her husband. I later on found out that all her girlfriends gave her a similar advice and sad as it was, women accept this upon themselves. Women will tell women to stick around in a horrible relationship, with a cheating man, with a stingy guy, with a man who has temper management issues and tell the woman it is all in her hands to make this work.

When have we ever become the weaker sex? We are able to give birth, take care of a house, go to work, socialize with the world and sleep for a maximum of six hours a night and still have the ability to do everything and more than any man could even dream of. What happened to reprimanding a man for his misconduct and behavior, who said it was ok? Who said that we were born, as women, to live this way? How come every man gets away with murder and women can’t get away with an extra hour of sleep if needed?

Women know how to build fear in other women, making them accept the unacceptable. Telling them horror stories of what life would look like if she did leave her husband “You will not be able to support yourself, you have not worked for years.” Or “What about the kids? They need a father figure” or “Live with it till your kids are old enough then leave”or “ Who will every marry a woman with children? It is too much baggage. So it is best to stay with the man who helped in procreating them.”

What women don’t understand is this “If women stood up and supported one another and did not accept to be treated in such a disturbing disregard to their humanity then men will have no choice but to stop.” As long as the world accommodates such actions and only the visual physical abuse is the allowed reason to leave a man, women will always be where they are today, and they will keep procreating more men that abuse their women, cause women don’t know how to stand up for their human rights.

If every woman keeps accepting this as a way of life, and if women will always advise women to be the abused member of the family then things will never change and women will always be spat on. Her kids will also treat her with disrespect the way their father had, and they will repeat the same pattern onto their wives in the future and every woman will again tell that woman in pain “It is ok, it is all in your hands, you’re the smarter one. Men are like children let him do his thing, and you stay the good wife, he will come around. As long as he didn’t hit you then you can fix it.”

Emilie’s story is one of the many stories I have came across in all these years of watching and listening to couples. With such sadness I have to say that I might have met one in every 30 marriages where there is a balanced relationship between man and woman. What women don’t understand is this: they are telling their daughters that it is ok to be treated this way and they are telling their sons it is ok to treat a woman this way. They think they are making life better for their children when in reality they are allowing the same patterns to continue to evolve and have no regard to how their daughters will be treated in the future or how their sons will treat women.

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A new meaning to life

It has been a long internal and external journey in the last few weeks. Things happened in my world that have caused a great shit of my paradigm. First and foremost my country has set a profound new way of having a revolution allowing the world to see, yet again, how amazing the Egyptians truly are. In the midst of all the pain they had been suffering for years they found courage to fight the system. They found their voice within the rubble. They awakened their senses to demand respect. The pride I hold in my heart for the first chapter of such a great revolution is beyond words and for the first time in a very long time I thirst to go back home. I desire to be a part of a new beginning, to engulf myself within an awakened nation and help in re-building it’s new foundation.

In less than a month a new heartbeat was acquired for the people of Egypt. With such dignified resolve they all held hands and marched to the sounds of their long lost freedom. A distant echo that arouse with every step they took towards Tahreer square, towards their freedom, towards a brighter future gave them the courage to take back what was fairly theirs all along.

As I sat everyday watching the magnitude of what was taking place the urge to be a part of that kept growing stronger and stronger within my heart and soul. I was in touch with everyone I knew there and what I didn’t get through watching the news I happily got from my friends who were part of the revolution. Throughout all this I kept dreaming of a new Egypt as self induced images kept manifesting themselves within my mind, images would pop out at me of clean streets, controlled traffic and self  fulfilled people. A constant flow of Bubbles kept floating out of my mind producing numerous ideas of all the different ways I could help Egypt become what it was meant to be more than 60 years ago engulfed my every thought.

Today I am sure that there is no other place I would rather be than in Egypt, my confusion seems to have found peace within the confines of freedom and the new change. The boredom I have been suffering from has blossomed into a new meaning to live, and my purpose in life has been finally found. Maybe I will hate it once I am there, and maybe I wont, but regardless of what will happen I am able to sternly say, there is nothing worth living for if not to make this world a better place for all of humanity.

How a Movie can move us

Movies hold a great power in the internal sense of human beings; they can provoke a person to cry, to laugh, to make new decision in life, to change their fashion statement or to even alert them to work out an internal issue. The type of movies I love the most are the ones that motivate people to follow their dreams and never give up regardless of all the difficulties that may face them in the process, and these movies are often based on a true story, which provides more of an attraction for me to watch them.

Yesterday after a very long stimulating day I was unable to use my mind for anything other than staring at a blank wall or zoning out into a movie. I chose to stare at a blank wall which resulted in allowing my mind to race a thousand miles a minute with thoughts and solutions to problems, so I decided to go with the second option, watching a movie.

The movie I chose made me cry with tears of joy, scream with excitement when needed and expand with determination to follow my passions regardless of what is expected and not expected of me. I understood that once the heart speaks louder to your soul than all the external voices there is nothing that can silence the heart. I came to terms with the fact that no one really knows what is best for me and what my abilities are more than myself. I realized that the root I have recently decided to take was entirely up to me and no matter how strange it may look to everyone on the outside I was following my own truth.

After I was done with the movie and all the tears of joy had seized I knew without a doubt what my purpose in life has always been. It felt like everything I had been searching for and wondering about came into made complete sense. There was a passion inside of me that had purpose, meaning and a reason for existing.

“I am able to do anything I want.”

“I am smart enough to make it a success”

“I am free to use all my talents towards my passion and KNOW it will work wonders”

I sat with no one but my own head that evening and I reflected back into the main character of the movie. She was a simple woman who had four kids, a loving husband and her role in life was a mother, wife and home carer. One day, through a simple event of fate, she found herself motivated in ways unknown to her or her family to save her father’s Horse Farm from being sold to the lowest bidder.  Although everyone was against her especially those she thought would stand by her, she still perused taking care of the Horse farm. Her stamina was incredible in trying to manage both her home and her new found determination and passion.

At the end, with everything going against her except for her assertive conviction to follow through and make it work she ended up being the brilliant Penny Chenery Tweedy who accomplished in guiding her stallion,Secretariat , to win the unbeaten record of the Triple Crown. Her bond and love to her stallion is breath taking and it gave a new found admiration for the human/animal bond and the loyalty found in that bond that is unfortunately not found between human and human.

Looking into my cats eyes after that move i tried to bond on a deeper level as Penny had done with Secretariat and proudly i realized that the bond had always been there only realizing today the magnitude of it at a completely different level of awareness.

Secretariat DVD

Insightful Remedies

There are times we feel really good and there are times we feel really bad. We are human and that is the human condition. There are those who watch for the patterns and those who neglect the patterns. How do we detect those patterns and where do we start……

1- I truly believe that your body manifests sickness to get you to pay attention.

2- Your always thinking of what it is you need to do to, as opposed to just following your heart even if it doesn’t make sense…

3- Be brutally honest with yourself.

4- Stop conforming to what you think you need to do.

5- Listen to your body…it’s giving you an opportunity to change, to get back to your heart.

6- Life has a way of repeating the same or similar situation until we learn.  You don’t have to DO anything.  Just observe, be aware and listen, because i really believe if you’re feeling unhappy inside there’s something you’re not being honest with yourself about.

7- You might be suppressing something; like when I suppressed knowing that my ex-husband wasn’t a healthy relationship/that we weren’t meant to be) notice patterns in your life and how you’ve handled them, notice how your body has been reacting to them and see how that can help you in future decisions.

 

The Third one found me!!!!

This is a continuation of my previous blog “Another mysterious miracle”. I had to inform you all that I did find my third bracelet, or to phrase it better, my third bracelet found me. It was last Tuesday where the sun was out but the slightly cold air kept its heat away from my slightly exposed skin. I left work a few hours early since I had finished everything I had to do but I was starting to feel the slight manifestation of an oncoming flu upon my body. As I drove down anticipating every minute that passes by in hopes of getting closer to home my phone rings and it happens to be my sister. She tells me that one of our friends is over at her house and she would love me to join especially that I am only a few minutes away from reaching Dubai. I confess to her that I am feeling a bit under the weather and have a dire need to rest and sleep for a bit. None of what I disclose make a difference to my sister and her persistence in me going over becomes more of a command.

Naturally I missed my upcoming exit and start heading towards my sisters home. Once I get there, I park my car in her garage, carry my day bag on my shoulder and walk towards her house. All I am thinking about is how long I will be there before I can go back home and flop on the couch in my cozy pj’s and sleep the pain in my body. I find my sister and our friend sitting in the back yard on her beautifully newly purchased garden set with coffees and cakes displayed all over the center table. I say my hellos to them both, place my bag down on the couch where my sister is sitting and go to say hi to the kids running around the grass. Once I get back to the sitting area, I take a seat between my sister and our friend as well all start talking as we sip on our coffees.

Half an hour later, one of the kids needs the bathroom and off goes my friend to change the diapers of her two year old. My sister gets a phone call and starts chatting away neglecting the need to keep socializing with me in hopes of keeping me in her house for a longer period of time. I look around for my lighter and remember it is still embedded somewhere in my day bag so I get up and walk towards my bag that has stayed well placed next to my sister. As I bend forward to dabble in it’s insides looking for my lighter I find a little shinny thing twinkling in the darkness of my bag. I stuff my hand in deeper to figure out what it is, and wow and behold, it is my third bracelet, peacefully sitting at the bottom of my bag waiting to be found.

Until this very day I have no idea how my bracelets found their way to me, or how the third one ever got into my day bag. My sister thinks its angels playing hooky with me, I believe it is a mystery that I have the inability to ever explain or understand I am just happy that my three bracelets are safely back on my wrist again where they always belong.

 

Screwtape Letters – Passage of time

Definitions of People in the story :The devil (screwtape) and his nephew (wormwood). God is called the (Enemy), their human victim is called the (Patient).

Screwtape advises Wormwood on using time to wear down a soul:

The Enemy has guarded him from you through the first great wave of temptations.  But, if only he can be kept alive, you have time itself to your ally.  The longScrew, dull, monotonous years of middle-aged prosperity or middle-aged adversity are excellent campaigning weather.  You see, it is so hard for these creatures to persevere. The routine of adversity and gradual decay of youthful loves and youthful hopes, the quiet despair (hardly felt as pain) of ever overcoming the chronic temptations with which we have again and again defeated them, the drabness which we create in their lives and the inarticulate resentment with which we teach them to respond to it – all this provides admirable opportunities of wearing out a soul by attrition. If, on the other hand, the middle years prove prosperous, or position is even stronger.  Prosperity knits a man to the world.  He feels that he is “finding his place in it” , while really it is finding his place in him.  His increasing reputation, his widening circle of acquaintances, his sense of importance, the growing pressure of absorbing and agreeable work, build up in him a sense of being really at home in earth, which is just what we want.  You will notice that the young are generally less unwilling to die than the middle aged and the old.

Screwtape Letters – Relationships

The Screwtape Letters is a book written by a great and prominent author called C .S. Lewis…..I found it very interesting and very insightful. It’s a story about the devil (screwtape) and his nephew (wormwood) . The book is composed of letters from screwtape to his nephew wormwood explaining their work that has to be done on humans. God is called the Enemy, their human victim is called the Patient. This coming paragraphe is one of the extracts from the book….i wanted to share it with you all I thought it was very insightful. There will a daily extract coming your way after this one.

 Extract: Screwtape is offering advice on the value of daily annoyances in trapping the patient (human).

When 2 humans have lived together for many years it usually happens that each has tones of voice and expressions of face which are almost unendurably irritating to the other. Work on that. Bring fully into the consciousness of your patient that particular lift of his mother’s eyebrows witch he learned to dislike in the nursery, and let him think how much he dislikes it. Let him assume that she knows how annoying it is and does it to annoy – if you know your job he will not notice the immense improbability of the assumption. And, of course, never let him suspect that he has tones and looks which similarly annoy her. As he cannot see or hear himself, this is easily managed. 



Wanna Read it click here: The Screwtape Letters – Special Illustrated Edition

Hairdresser Café Premonition

 My hair feels fresh and crisp, I stick my fingers into it and slide them through it. I look at myself in the mirror as I wave my head around to see my hair flow from side to side. I smile at the other person’s reflection in the mirror standing behind me and thank him for a job well done. I move towards the cashier counter with lavish expressions of “thanks” and “I love it” as I reach for my wallet to pay the bill.

I walk out into the lobby of the hotel and towards a tiny coffee shop that is situated at the main entrance of the hotel doors. The café is extremely old with fer-forge chairs, round glass table tops, the floors are a patterned marble and granite and the surrounding curtains of thick yellow and green fabric are similar to the cushion that is placed on the fer forge chairs.

Leama, one of my best friends, finally arrives and she gracefully places herself on the chair opposite mine. We greet one another casually and quickly move into topics we have been waiting all day to discuss face to face. I had recently gotten my divorce and she had just recently given up looking for a potential boyfriend. In the last week my ex-husband had been trying to pursue his desire to bring us back together and I was debating if I should give him another chance or not. I get into the discussion with Leama in hopes that this time I can make the right decision, but the conversation gets me nowhere since Leama wants me to do what makes me happy. It was a hard decision to take especially that I still possessed very strong feelings for him and lived on the hope  that he had truly change and that our divorce had made him the new man he was claiming to be.

The waitress comes to our table to take our order, we both smile at her and take a quick look at the crumpled and jagged menu. She walks away with our orders making sure to first tell us that it will take half an hour for our sandwiches since the kitchen is on another floor. Half an hour later, the food is placed in front of us alerting us to take a break from our chain-smoking marathon. As we begin to take our first bit into our sandwiches, the waitress just stands there looking at us. We both stop with our sandwiches in our hands and our mouths are trying to chew the last remains of it. I look up at her and ask her if she is ok and if there is anything is wants. Then with no prior indication that this woman has anything of value to say, she starts to talk in a friendly tone of voice.

“My husband is a wonderful man, who I love so much and he loves me so much in return” she starts off with what looked like tears in her eyes. “He is ten years older than me, but it makes no difference what age, religion, ethnic background or any other exterior qualifications he has. All that matters is that he treats me with utmost respect, love, loyalty, understanding and kindness”. She goes on telling us with a little quiver in her voice. Me and Leama sit back and refuse to utter a word and just stare at her as she continues to speak. We wonder if her husband is on his death bed, or if something went wrong for her to want to share this with us but we soon find out that her husband is alive and kicking and she had a deep urge to come and just talk to us.

The waitress then just stares at me and starts to say “Everything is part of a bigger plan, nothing is in your hands and especially marriage. People don’t have the patience to wait for their right partner, they are rushed into finding a partner of any kind just to satisfy the system.” Then she moves closer towards our table as she continues to contribute her valued advice specifically towards me. “You will find the perfect man, and you will be very happy with him more than you can imagine, don’t settle for anything less than what you deserve. Be patient and he will appear in front of you when you least expect it and you will know it from the first second that he is the man for you” she smiles as she says that with complete conviction in her voice. “ You must not settle for a man who does not cherish every minute he spends with you. You have to make sure his kindness over whelms you. It is important to know that wherever you are in the world that you can trust him with your life. It is vital to feel extremely safe in his presence and in his absence, to know that whatever you may need he is there to help provide it to you. Most importantly he must treat you with great respect and dignity.”

I am struck by silence and a weird, scared smile on my face. What was this woman telling me? How come she appeared at the perfect time to tell me what to do with my decision of going back to my ex husband or not? Why was her conversation directed completely towards me and not to Leama? I sit there stiffly absorbing all the information I had just received, like God wanting to answer me through a medium and his medium was this waitress.

She then takes a step back, places both her hands together and apologizes for all she said explaining to us how strange it is that she felt she had to talk to us. She started to tell us that she does not talk to strangers, let alone customers but for some reason she felt so comfortable and felt that something was pushing her to talk to us about her very personal life.

As we sit there with our sandwiches lying peacefully on our plates awaiting our next bite, the waitress looks at Leama and tells her that she should not rush into anything with anyone; she should keep waiting for her perfect partner it could be in a few more years. She takes a deep breath in, like she is exhausted and continues to say “A younger man, or an older man makes no difference as long as you feel he wants to always be with you and expresses his feelings to you openly and truthfully”.

We spend the rest of our lunch break eating in silence contemplating all that was told to us and all that was given to us as a miracle. We stepped out of the coffee shop after bidding her farewell and thanking her for her insights. Sadly I didn’t take her advice the way I should have and a month later me and my ex husband were dating again, needless to say he offered me nothing of all the qualities the waitress adamantly told me to hold out for.

The Inshight i never got

As I sit entirely indulged in my book with my already blown neck rest and blind folds neatly placed on my lap, a loud gentle male voice snaps me out of my trance as he asks me “Can I pass? I am seated next to you in 28 I”. He beams at me with a smile, and I think to myself in dismay “oh no….a talker”. I remove the items off my lap, hold my book in one hand and stand up to allow him to pass my seat to get to his. As I flop back into my seat and start re-arranging everything as it was before his arrival he decides to introduce himself and his friend; seated in 28J to me “Hi, my name is Fuad and this is Jannah” he stretches out his hand and I am forced to take it, smile back and introduce myself. “We were in a seminar, learning how to communicate effectively and attract potential clients” he continues to say as he fiddles around in his brown hand bag bringing out two books to entertain him during the flight. I take a peek at the books he is extracting from his hand bag and realize that this guy could be of some interest; maybe I can spend a few more minutes talking to him before i dive back into my book. As cheerful as a cheerleader Fuad starts to ask me questions regarding who I am and where I work, I respond cautiously uninterested in providing any answers, more interested in knowing what seminar he was attending. I take a quick look at my book and contemplate opening it up to start to read or to give a few more minutes to Fuad in hopes of acquiring any new insights that I may learn from this encounter. “I think it is best to talk on the plan and get to know who is sitting next to you. People never do that, and I always wonder why not?” he starts to ramble on “that is why I am going to put in the effort to always talk to the people sitting next to me on the plane, it is always good to make new contacts in every environment I am in” Fuad says this with a wide smile and a knowing look. I stare at him for a few seconds and right before he starts to ask me some more uncalled for questions I calmly tell him that I disagree with his philosophy and start to open up my book. His mouth closes, and with interest he leans closer; as I lean further away, and asks me “Please explain your point of view to me”. I take a deep breath, move my body around a bit so that I can face him and simply say “ I believe that life is full of things to do as it is, the only time a person has for themselves is when they are on an airplane.” Fuad then moves around in his seat, looking more interested in what I have to say, and so i close my book again and I continue to say ”Your daily life is spent at work, on the phone, with friends, in outings and there is never any time where you can feel no guilt in doing nothing. When you’re on vacation then you are busy all the time calling friends, seeing things, going places. If it is a business trip then you’re busy seeing clients, having planned dinners and working on urgent matters from your hotel room. If it is a holiday spent in your home town, then the whole vacation is spent seeing family and old friends, making sure no time goes to waste since there is such limited time to see everyone.” He nods in agreement, tilts his head sideways, scratches his chin and asks me to continue. I look at him intensely and notice a change in his flamboyant attitude, the “know it all” attitude that he portrayed to me from the minute he asked me to allow him to pass. Seeing that he is open to really listen to what I am saying I agree to continue.

 “Well, the only time I have for myself, with no guilt, is on a plane. On the plane it is my time, there are no phone calls that I have to respond to or make, there is no one I have to go see, there are no plans that I have to contemplate on doing or not. There is nothing but me, my book, the small tv screen in front of me and the possibility to sleep at my own free will. Therefore I don’t believe in having to socialize on the plane and make connections with strangers since I have to do that in my everyday life. I don’t have to sit and put into consideration someone else outside of myself for those few hours. I can only think of my pleasure and what I want to do.” Fuad looks at me after I am done telling him my point of view. I twist myself back into the normal sitting position on the plane ready to start reading my book, in hope of having him understand the importance of what i told him. He is quiet and I know he is absorbing what I had just offered him. A few seconds later he tells me I am so right, he never thought about it that way. I feel a sense of pleasure in  providing an insight to him, although I was waiting for an insight from him and not the other way around. I open up my book, cuddle further into my narrow seat and start reading my book in silence, at my own pleasure, with no further interruptions from the straanger sitting next to me.

Freak Out List

It is hard to believe that I have come to an age where I cower away from mentioning it. I remember always believing that my age never represented how I felt inside. When I turned 21 the excitement to mention my age was euphoric, no one would believe it cause I still looked like an eighteen year old. At 25 I was proud to give out my age knowing well that I always looked years younger and I needed others to know how old I was, so that I can be treated like a mature woman. I felt elated to enter into the 30’s still looking like a 25 year old. Thirty one was a blessed year as I soured in self growth, confidence and enlightenment. As thirty five came into view the compliment of looking 27 held no meaning, my looks were no more the issue it was what I had accomplished with my life that started to matter. Now that 36 is a few days away and I have acknowledged that I will always look younger than my age, due to genetics, my worries have found another place to reside in.

In reading my previous post “Freak out” I had mentioned wanting to write a list of things I wish to do if I started to incorporate a negative thought in my mind to push me forward into a more positive life.

“If I had a terminal illness, and had only four years to live, how would I be leading my life today?”

–        I would continue my study in NLP and take the Master practitioner course

–        I would start to practice the Reiki I had been certified to do and help others through the healing energy I have in my hands as I would continue my studies and do the masters practitioner course.

–        I would open another branch of my “Art Café” (http://www.artcafe-egypt.com/) that me and my partners have opened together to provide art lesson to children and adults hoping to give them a new way to release all their pent up issues.

–        I would own a small town house somewhere in Europe surrounded by nature and waterfalls to go every few months to paint a few new canvases of self expression. To have my bare feet on the grass that is in my little front yard and spend hours on end releasing my thoughts on a canvas through my paint brush

–        I would finish writing my book of “Happily Ever After” in the full details of what really happened that I was unable to write on my blog, in hopes of helping abused women around the world.

–        I would live in the country where I have all the people I love around me to bask in the warmth of their love.

–        I would travel with a friend or two around the world only to exotic places where I will learn something new with every encounter I come across.

–        I would make every day count and not a single day go by in spending useless time in sadness.

As I looked at my list I felt I can breathe again, for the first time I felt that I have a purpose in this life, a way to help others a way to make a slight difference in people’s lives. There was so much that I had to offer and I was blocked from moving forward after MJ (blog: Happily Ever After) and Tracy’s (Blog: Shocking Truth) painful experience in my life. I am free at last to see how I can move forward.

I am glad to inform you that the first wish has started to come into fruition, I signed up for the NLP Master Practitioner course and I already feel that there might be a hidden benefit towards a better life after writing my list.

How does your list look like? What would you do If you had a terminal illness, and had only four years to live, how would you be leading your life today?”