The Humiliation of Subservient Chores.

Do we still live in a world where men honestly believe that a woman is made to serve her man? How is it possible that well rounded, educated men can truly believe that one of the beauties of marriage is to have someone pick up behind them, feed them, do their laundry, clean the house, pack their clothes and still sustain a cheerful attitude? As I sat facing a lovely young man who had lived on his own for over 5 years and had just gotten married, I aksed him what were his expectations of marriage. To my shocking surprise his answer was “To have a partner in life to do things with and for someone to pamper me.” I innocently asked what is pampering for him and he said so casually “To take over all the chores I had to do for myself. To have her take over the cleaning of the house, to make me breakfast, lunch and dinner, to do my laundry, to pick up my things from around the house.”

I couldn’t believe my ears, was this educated man for real? Is it possible that men still believe that once they get married all the things that they used to do as bachelors would vanish cause he was now married and the woman he chose to marry would take over all the chores? I sat there wondering if his words could make any sense at all, yet nothing came to mind. Where do these notions come from? How do men and women believe that their gift of getting married is turning the woman into a servant with benefits? Is it not cheaper to hire a maid to do all those things than actually getting married? A house maid is paid on a daily basis to serve the household, it is a job she has applied for. A marriage needs money for the wedding, money for the diamond ring, money for an apartment, money for furniture and money to spend on house purchases for two people. So what is cheaper to have? A maid or a wife?

It is sad to say that the people at fault are the parents of these men and women, they have bestowed upon their children the belief that a woman is made to serve her husband and therefore the little young girl is made to believe that her future home with her husband is her palace and she is the queen of this palace, a brainwashing technique, when in reality she is just a servant that never leaves. The little boy is taught that once he finds a wife and marries all the things he had to do for himself will cease to exist. He is taught at a young age that his mother does everything for him and so will his future wife. He is made to believe that he is incapable of cooking for himself, or cleaning his own things, he is made to believe that a woman is the only one that can do all those things and in return he is brainwashed into believing that women were created with special talents that he doesn’t possess.

Society keeps badgering women to get married, forcing them to find their prince and giving them the hopes and dreams that this prince will come and shower them with love. On the other hand men are made to believe that they can take their time to marry, that they need to try as many women as possible before they settle down that age doesn’t matter. The biggest joke here is that the women are the ones that suffer the most in getting married and the men get benefits they didn’t even dream of. In the twisted ways of our societies we should notice that men are the ones who get it easy, they are the ones who gain more stability than the women do.

When does all this end? When will men actually appreciate a woman and start wanting to marry a partner not a subservient servant? Why is it ok for a man not to involve himself in the upbringing of his own kids? Men speak of babies as if they are an entity outside of them, as if they are objects that only a mother knows how to care for. In reality both mother and father have never had the experience of changing a babies diapers, feeding the baby let alone showering a baby. How come the father figure is always displayed as someone who is ignorant in this department? What makes her knowledgeable about something that she has never done in her life before? What makes him different in the responsibility of it all?

Were we not created as partners in this life? Think about it all from a different perspective than what we have all been brainwashed to believe throughout our lives. Marriage should be an additional bonus to everyone’s life, not a burden that is bestowed upon women. Women need to wake up to their own reality in life and come to realize that they do have choices and they are able to find the right partner in life that will share his life with hers. Don’t go around looking for a husband go out there and look for a partner.