The pressure of others words

pop-art-womenWhat we tell ourselves and what others tell us make us who we are. We trust whole heartedly what others tell us, how others define us, and we live accordingly. We either spend time proving them right, or proving them wrong. Yet, we don’t spend time looking at who we really are and putting in the effort to accept ourselves with all the wonders of our amazingly unique personalities.

There was a time where I was devastatingly depressed, I had come out of a horrible marriage, that broke me as a person. I went to so many doctors to figure out what was wrong with me, how could I fail at my marriage, what did I do wrong?! What they all persisted on telling me was this “your depressed, take this medication”. Now if I completely believed them, that I needed medication to heal myself I would have been a complete mess by today. All I wanted to know, all I needed to know was whose fault it was for this marriage to have gotten so bad. The more the doctors persisted on telling me that I have a deep depression and needed medication, the more I believed that I was utterly depressed and I was at fault.

They were the doctors, I should trust them, yet even in my lowest point of my life, I had a fear of taking medication to subdue me into a state of comfort. I was not getting answers that confronted me, I left the marriage feeling guilt and pain, yet I had no idea what was going on with me. So I got into a worse depression due to being told I am severely depressed and my only hope was medication, there was no other way to get me fixed.

I still didn’t take anything prescribed to me, I insisted that this was not a solution for me, to numb me to the world and my emotions. And yet the depression kept getting stronger cause even friends and family were telling me take something to make me feel better. This persistence was the reason I finally found a therapist that had time to listen to me and time to talk. Finally after months on the search, I got my answer to my own question in a way that my own personality would have accepted hearing it and believing it. It was not my fault at all. And that was when the healing began. I was told I am depressed but due to what happened to me, that he was the one who was wrong, that everything I went through was simply called “abuse” and so I had a small thread of hope to help myself.

In general I trusted a small voice of fear inside, fear of medications, although I was in a terrible state and trusted the doctors telling me that I was severely depressed.

If everyone tells you that your depressed then you will be depressed. If everyone tells you that you have manic depression then u will believe it. Giving you a title makes it more intense and possible to believe and so you become that person. You become ill and in need of mental medication. But what if you have a right to be so sad or disappointed in what happened to you,? What if all you really need is someone to hear you out and lead you into a better solution that caters to you personally?

If your depressed and everyone around you is telling you that you are, then stop and think, your not depressed, your disappointed. That is the right word, that word narrows it down to what the problem is, what is really going on. What we easily call depression today is simply disappointment.

I was so disappointed in my failure of my marriage. I was so disappointed in myself and who I became by staying with that person. I was disappointed in life and in God. True depression is clinical, disappointment is what we all go through. Tell your minds the right word so that it can heal itself, depression removes all possibility of you getting better without medication.

We would all like an easy solution to our negative emotions, and it is so much easier to say “I am depressed” yet the long term hell that follows these numbing medications is a life time of foggiest, numbness to happiness and sadness and dillusion.

You are what you think you are. Whatever words you use with yourself, you are these words. If you say your depressed then your whole body will function accordingly and then it is so easy to pop a pill to feel better. People will also throw that word at you constantly, and encourage you to get well fast. The problem is, you become unavailable and loose yourself and your spark, you become subdued to life with no passions or reasons worthy to keep you alive.

You become numb.

Watch what words you use, and change the word to something manageable. See what happens then. Don’t take those pills, they damage your brain, they eat away at your days and nights, they take away from your own beauty while life just passes you by.


Journey of the mind in NLP

The NLP has been very fruitful so far in a very different way. The interesting part in all this type of new self healing method is that it is very practical and fast. What i mean is that i have come accross a way to rid myself of old pains, or insecurities i have developed from childhood.

How this concept works:

There are pictures, sounds, smells and feelings related to all events in a persons mind since their birth. That is why a person is able to easily access a memory if any one of the above mentioned senses are triggered then a person will immediately go back to that memory with the same emotions felt then. What happens then is that a mood change takes over and the person starts to access those same physical attributes.

How NLP works is that it does not ask questions about past issues allowing the person to fall into that memory in explanations of the emotions. What NLP does is that it changes the image that you as an individual have created in your mind with another image to relate it to that feeling. So its basically you talking to yourself in your head to trigger that picture as the Coach starts to ask a variety of questions about how it looks like, not the situation, but the picture in which your image is in. For example, is it a coloured image or a black and white image, is it in motion or a still picture, is there a smell associated? or a sound? and the questions keep getting deeper and deeper until you are fully there knowing exactly how your personal brain has stored that specific fear, anger, hurt, phobia etc.. as a memory. Once you have given all that information to the couch, you are asked to trigger a happy, confident, sure, pleasure etc. image in your mind following all the same procedures that you went through in the bad state memeory image. Once that is accomplished, a switch takes place and the bad image is replace with the good image. In doing that the couch makes you go back to the bad image keeping its content but changing its components into the happy image you had earlier.

So now the bad memory has the same smell, taste, colour etc of what the happy image had. Making the bad image loose its bad grasp on you, turning it into a normal image that is associated to how you as an individual do happy moments in your mind.

Naturally there is a lot more there than  what i just mentioned but i wanted to give you the gist of how this NLP works.

I cant wait to start next weekend the rest of the training. This has been more helpful to me than therapist and psychiatry cause it does not give me an opportunity to re-live in the moment for too long before it is taken away from its form and presented with other traits that were not there before. What really helps is that the memory is still there but the event is not a pain related one any more cause the texture of the event has fallen into the texture of a happy event giving its pain no value anymore.